


Caged Birds Don't Sing

by RavenclawSlayer



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:08:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26540431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenclawSlayer/pseuds/RavenclawSlayer
Summary: Faith wakes up from her coma and is delighted when she realizes that Mayor's lackeys kidnapped Buffy for her- she considers it the best gift ever- can she keep it?(Major Character Death doesn't apply to Buffy and Faith)
Relationships: Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers
Comments: 35
Kudos: 24





	1. Mayor's Gift

Why did you turn your back on Buffy and cross over to the dark side? Everyone wanted to know the answer to that question. They guessed: jealousy. Gotta admit they were partly right. But they thought I wanted Buffy's life: the nice mom, a Watcher, buddies to hang with... Sure, why not, it all sounded neat, but above it all... I wanted BUFFY. I didn't want to be her, I wanted to be WITH her.

Before she decided that she loved Angel more, we’d actually hooked up a couple of times. Things had been said… I want you I love you… just words, empty words said in the heat of passion. The thing is… I’d meant those things. Buffy hadn’t. So she chose Angel.

And I chose the Mayor. Not cause of a cool apartment or money or his approval: he said- at the end of it all- I would get the only thing I ever wanted: BUFFY.

He said he would make sure I got her and that’s all it took to convince me to work for him.

The thing was… he never planned on getting all dead and I was never supposed to end up in a coma for eight months. When I woke up, I didn’t feel remorse for shit I’d done, I was just sorry I hadn’t gotten Buffy. I headed to my apartment and found a tape… and when I hit play I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

The Mayor had fulfilled his promise. His lackeys had actually kidnapped Buffy. She was waiting for me. I packed a bag and caught a bus to… somewhere far away.

It took me eight hours to get to her. It felt like eight years.

But when I opened the door to the luxurious apartment The Mayor had left me… she was the only thing I could see.

She was so beautiful I couldn’t even form a word. Her blonde hair was a bit longer, she was wearing a long white dress and she was pale cause she hadn’t been out for eight months, but she was the most amazing thing I’d ever seen in my life.

I kinda expected her to lunge at me, and the look on her face said she wanted to, but she didn’t. She just sat there and sipped her glass of wine while watching cartoons, you believe it or not. Bugs Bunny.

“Hello, B.”, I said and dropped my bag to the floor.

“Faith. Was hoping you’d kick it, in that case they would have released me.”, she said coldly, her eyes shooting daggers.

“Ha. Sorry to disappoint. Well, B, you can hardly complain about being kept in a freaking mansion.”, I said, while looking around. The place was amazing. The living room had this huge ass TV screen, two comfortable leather sofas and an armchair and an actual fireplace, with real wood and fire, not those fake ones. The kitchen was white, spotless and big and as I entered the house I could see B’s bedroom because the door had been left open.

Mayor’s video had also told me that I’d find a swimming pool, a training room, two bathrooms, one more spare bedroom and a basement. Couldn’t wait to see it all, but now… she was the only thing I cared about. According to the video, he’d also left me MILLIONS, but to get access to that account I was supposed to go the bank and seeing Buffy was my number one priority.

“Yeah, Faith, it feels fuckin’ amazing being locked here and not knowing if my friends or mom are ok. They’re defenseless without a Slayer, they might all be dead. But, sure, I’m peachy, just love being a prisoner.”

Her hands balled into fists and I suddenly realized why she wasn’t running or trying to fight me. There was a metal bracelet on her hand. My eyes stopped on it and she said through her teeth “Yes, Faith, it shocks me if I try to run or fight. It’s so powerful I actually passed out a few times. And I can’t get it off. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

This was too good. A grin broke out on my face. She was all mine. And she’d never ever be able to leave me.

“Ok, B… I know you don’t wanna be here with me, but you’re not getting out, so you should just accept it and make your life as good as it can be. I’m in a desperate need of a bath, but when I get out, I wanna fuck you.”

She actually jumped to her feet. “What?! You’re insane if you think I’ll be your prisoner AND your whore! Oh, yes, I forgot, you are insane! But I’m not doing it, you can fuckin’ forget it.”

I’d never heard her swear that much, so I just had to smile.

“We’d had some sweet times before you chose Angel, B. If you’re smart, we can go back to that now. Or we can play it rough. I like that version too.”

“Fuck you, Faith.”, she spat out.

“Oh, soon, baby. Soon.”, I grinned, winked and went to the bathroom. Buffy was all flushed and somehow looking even more beautiful and god, I wanted to devour her.

The bathroom was like heaven on Earth. It was spacious with a huge bath you could even swim in if you wanted to. I filled it with bubbles and lay inside, it felt like I was floating on clouds. I closed my eyes and actually napped for a while even though I didn’t think I’d need naps after sleeping for eight months.

When I got out, I didn’t bother putting on any clothes, I just dried myself and wrapped a big yellow towel around my body. I figured I didn’t need clothes when I would take them off in a few minutes.

“Hey, B? Hope you’ve taken that dress off already…”, I said and entered the living room, but she wasn’t there, so I headed to her bedroom.

She was sitting on the bed and reading a book, she didn’t even put it down to look at me, which annoyed me so I pulled it from her hand and threw it to the floor.

“Hey! Be careful with that book!”, B exclaimed, her eyes were so angry I felt like her gaze burnt me.

I looked at her, she wasn’t wearing that white dress anymore, she’d showered and put on checkered pink purple pajamas, with long sleeves and pants, which hid her gorgeous body from me.

“Take off those pajamas…”, I said, my voice was low and huskier than usually. I wanted her so badly… but I didn’t wanna rape her, I wanted her to want it like she’d wanted it before…

“I’m not sleeping with you, Faith. Not now, not ever.”, she glared at me and crossed her legs, pointedly stubborn about it.

“Oh, come on, B. You want sex as much as I do. You’ve been here alone for eight months… and every time we’d fucked, you’d orgasmed like a freaking waterfall, so stop being annoying, we both need some release.”, I said, trying to sound as gentle as possible. She glanced at me, pulled a cover over herself and said “No. Faith, forget it. You can hold me here, but you’re not touching my body again.”

“Fine, B. Have it your way. But, sweetie, remember that I CAN leave this place. I can go and pay a visit to your friends you’re so worried about. I can hurt them and I can help them. That’s entirely up to you, Twinkie.”, I said coldly and left her room.

The other H kicked in and I went straight to the fridge and ate a little bit of everything I could find and I drank a carton of orange juice that was so yummy. I was still wrapped in a towel, wasn’t in the mood for clothes, I just sat down on a couch and started flipping through channels.

I heard tiny steps, but pretended not to notice when B entered the living room.

“Faith?”, she whispered. I glanced at her, seemingly uninterested and looked back to the TV screen.

“What?”, I asked and pretended I was really into this old black and white movie. I don’t even know which movie it was.

“If you went to check on my mom and friends and helped them occasionally, I would… have sex with you.”

It sounded like it physically hurt her to say those last four words, but I turned my head toward her and gave her my undivided attention. “Would you give a letter to my mom? Just so she knows I’m ok.”

Tears ran down her face and I swallowed hard. She looked so young and hurt… I sighed loudly and went to pour us both a drink, I sure needed one and she looked like she could use one too.

“Ok, B. It’s a deal. But, I will put your letter in her mailbox and I’ll lurk around at cemeteries and their apartments, I won’t be making any contacts cause if they knew I was there, they could have me followed.”

“They probably already know you’re awake; Council guys were supposed to keep an eye on you. You can’t hide forever; the cops are looking for you for murders… You’re as much a prisoner as I am.”, she said with a pleased smirk and sipped some of the whiskey I’d poured her.

I smirked right back “All the charges have been dropped, B. The Mayor had connections. It was his gift to me, along with the likes of you.”

Her eyes widened and she sat down on the other couch, as far away from me as it was possible. She sipped more and tried to look untouched by that revelation. “What? Did you think he’d leave me unprotected? The Mayor cared about me, even if you find it hard to believe. Now, if you want me to do you that pretty huge ass favor, I’m gonna need to do a few things.”

“Faith, I’m not sleeping with you now.”, she growled and I stood up to go through my bag. I owned an old Polaroid camera that spat the photo out straight away. I took a photo of B looking all cozy on a leather couch with a drink.

“Attach this to your letter, so your mom has proof that you’re ok."

“You can’t keep this up forever.”, B said, sounding defiant, but also unsure. She took the photo and stood up to leave. When she passed me by I jumped to my feet and managed to grab her and pull her into a kiss.

The little firecracker forgot about the bracelet and pushed me away hard and it shook her. I was surprised when her knees buckled and she fell down, still shivering a little. That thing was good! I guessed that wasn’t the stronger setting if it had actually managed to knock her out. I extended my hand and helped her up. Her knees still wouldn’t listen to her, so I caught her into my arms and carried her to bed.

I could feel her tension, her body was so stiff in my arms and she actually exhaled loudly when I placed her in bed and pulled a cover over her. I really wanted to sleep with her, but I decided against it that night. I took my bag and headed to the other bedroom without saying ‘night’ to her. She didn’t say anything either.


	2. Blame and Favors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title is pretty self-explanatory ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this fic is a bit dark, and I understand that's not everyone's cup of tea, there's a little warning about dubious consent, even though there is always consent whatever happens, but just in case even mild consent issues might trigger someone. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone kidnapping or anything that's done against someone's will, no is a no and should always mean no, I just wanted to explore something new and kinda scary, and I don't romanticize it. Let me know what you think and, hopefully, enjoy the ride.

I couldn't sleep so I spent most of the night watching TV and then at about 7 am I made coffee and waited for B to get up. It finally happened at 8, so when I heard her enter the bathroom I started preparing scrambled eggs.

She looked surprised when she got to the kitchen and breakfast and coffee waited for her. “Um… thanks.”, she said, obviously feeling awkward because she needed to thank me for something.

“I’m going groceries shopping now and to buy a plane ticket for SunnyD. I might go there as early as tonight.”

“Ok.”, she said shortly and sipped more coffee.

“Do you need anything from the shop?”, I asked as I applied some make up. I thought I looked much better with some red lipstick on my full lips.

It was February and this place wasn’t as warm as Sunnydale, so I put on a leather jacket and jeans. I thought I looked really hot.

“No.”

B’s one word answers annoyed me, but I didn’t wanna fight this early in the morning so I let it go and I got out of the apartment. I did slam the door a bit harder than necessary and I locked it. It was a cold, but sunny morning and I enjoyed my walk through a few parks and over a gorgeous beach until I reached my destination. Besides food, I needed new clothes and shoes, and figured I could buy something for B. I picked a sexy red underwear set and couldn’t wait to see her put it on.

My next stops were the bank and then the airport. The ticket to Sunnydale was cheap to me now. The Mayor had had time to save up quite a lot of money in his long life. I was filthy rich. From rags to riches story worked for the story’s villain this once. Disney should totally turn our story into a movie someday. On the second thought, it probably wouldn’t be for children’s eyes.

When the ticket was safe in my inner jacket pocket I headed back home. Buffy had been working out, doing pushups, crunches and riding a stationary bike, those things weren’t triggering the bracelet, and she was covered in sweat when I got home, her nipples were visible through her gray tank top and her shorts were glued to her thighs. She looked beyond hot.

I just stared at her for a moment and she narrowed her eyes and said “Stop looking at me like that. I was just about to go shower.”

“Let me watch.”, I said and pulled out the underwear I’d bought her. “And put these on.”

“They need to be washed first, Faith. And no, not letting you watch.”

I thought she was so rude and I pushed her against the wall so hard her head bounced off of it and she sobbed. “Don’t fuckin’ mess with me, B. I’m doing you a favor, and treating you better than you fuckin’ deserve. I can hurt you any way I like and you can’t stop me, so just do what I tell you to without making me hurt you.”

She didn’t say anything, she just stormed off. She grabbed some clothes and entered the bathroom. When I entered behind her and watched her strip, she just glared at me, but didn’t say a word. Without sparing me another glance, she entered the shower and I was so tempted to just hop in with her, but I didn’t wanna push it too far straight away. Maybe the little rude goat would be in a better mood when I came back from SunnyD.

Seeing her naked, though… god it did stuff to me. I wanted her so bad. I honestly don’t know how I stopped myself from touching her. That was the fastest shower in the world, though and she threw her white dress over her naked body way too fast, I actually growled and she shot me a disgusted look and went to her bedroom.

She wasn’t aware of how horny and angry she was making me… I inhaled and exhaled a few times to calm down and then barged into her room.

“B, if you don’t stop acting this way…”

“You’re gonna do what, huh?! What did you think would happen?! Did you think I’d jump into your arms and have sex with you and tell you I love you or what?! I’M YOUR FUCKIN’ PRISONER HERE, WE’RE NOT A COUPLE, YOU’RE NOTHING TO ME! NOTHING!”, she screamed and I punched her as hard as I could.

Punching was a normal reaction to me, but I flinched when I saw blood on her lips. “I don’t know why I feel bad about hitting you, you fuckin’ stabbed me!”, I yelled and showed her a scar on my belly. It was her time to flinch and she took a few steps back.

“I didn’t mean to…”, she choked out and reached out to touch the scar, but pulled her hand back before it touched my skin.

“Well, you did!! You put me in a coma and here I am, acting like you’re my girlfriend, keeping you safe and warm and well fed and clean… I should take everything away from you, to teach you a lesson!”, I yelled and figured that was actually a very good idea.

“You pushed me away and teamed up with the guy who was LITERALLY a big snake who wanted to kill us all!”, Buffy yelled back, her eyes flooded with tears.

“YOU WANTED TO FEED ME TO ANGEL!! WHAT KIND OF A HERO DOES THAT MAKE YOU?!”, I screamed and swallowed hard not to start crying. She’d hurt me so much and I still fuckin’ loved her. Why couldn’t she love me back??

“Angel was a good guy! He would have died and I would have died to save him, hell I almost did! Because YOU poisoned him!”

“Oh, yeah, vampires are such innocent creatures! I see you’re in the mood to throw blame around, so let me: YOU hurt ME way worse than I hurt you or your little friends. I never would have stabbed you, but you stabbed me! Yet, I’m here- still loving you and you hate me! HOW AM I THE BAD GUY?!”

“You don’t fucking love me, Faith. You’re obsessed with me for some reason and keeping me a prisoner won’t make me change my mind!”

“You’re hardly a prisoner, B, living in this luxury and wearing awesome clothes! You wanna be a prisoner?! I will make you one!”, I grabbed her hand and dragged her to the basement. I ripped her dress off of her and pushed her inside, naked.

“Have a great day.”, I yelled when I locked the door.

“Faith! Let me out!”, she yelled, but I ignored her. I just left the apartment and spent all day outside just to torture her.

Revello Drive was my first stop when I made it to Sunnydale. It was eight p.m. and I dared to peek through the window after leaving B’s letter in the mailbox. Ms. Summers was reading a book, dressed in a horrible light blue bathrobe and she looked as if she’d aged years since I’d last seen her.

A photo of Buffy was on a small table near the couch and when she looked up, she stared at it for a moment, picked it up and pressed it onto her chest. I swallowed hard, turned on my heel and left.

The next stop was Giles’ place. Red and Xand were there too, and they were all sporting some impressive bruises. Xander’s arm was in a sling, but they were all alive. I thought B would be happy to hear that. I stalked off and headed to one of the twelve cemeteries. I never knew all of their names, I just called them like ‘that one where B and I did synchronized slaying’, ‘that one near the Bronze’ and stuff like that.

I’d been feeling horny and angry all day so as soon as I saw a vamp, I sprang into action and beat him to a bloody pulp before I finally took mercy and slayed him. That wasn’t enough so I searched the place, slayed one more and ended up walking through all twelve cemeteries. My final score was nine vampires, which was surprising. Something was probably going on, I’d never slayed even one third of that in one night. I didn’t care what it was as I was finally feeling calm.

Going to the Bronze wasn’t the best idea, but that’s exactly what I did. I needed a drink before going back to B. I also needed someone to fuck cause the little bitch wasn’t putting out just yet. Luckily, I never had problems with picking up people in bars. This night was no different… I ended up going to my old apartment with a very good looking biker guy whose name I didn’t bother asking for. He was good to scratch the itch.

Sex made me feel better and my step was all bouncy as I walked toward the Sunnydale airport, which was for some reason built to look as a ship. That town was just proud of being different, I guess.

The perks of being filthy rich were endless. The plane waited for me and it was ready to take off whenever I showed up.

It was gone midnight when I got home, but I didn’t go to the basement. I took a shower and went straight to bed. Evil, right? The bitch deserved it.

“FAITH, LET ME OUT, PLEASE!”, B’s screams actually woke me up in the morning. First I growled, but then I grinned because she sounded desperate.

I took my time with making coffee, drinking it and smoking a cigarette… and when I finally opened the door, B was out before I managed to utter that one letter.

“Oh god… finally…”, she whispered, relieved. I heard her stomach growl and I narrowed my eyes at her as I asked “Have you learned your lesson or do you need to stay in there for a bit longer?”

She nodded and asked “How’s my mom?”

“Sad and alone.”, I said shortly and she wasn’t pleased with my answer, so she said “Tell me everything.”

“I kinda remember a deal we had, B.”, I looked straight into her eyes and she looked away a second later.

“I know. I just wanna shower and eat first.”

“Fine. Hurry up.”, I said and headed to the other bathroom to wash up a little and I grinned happily when I thought about what was gonna happen. I gave her half an hour to eat and shower and then I found her in her bedroom, she was wearing that pajamas again and I don’t know how I didn’t cut it into pieces… I was wrapped in a towel and I let it fall to the floor and sat down on the edge of the bed.

I spread my legs for her and lifted an eyebrow and just couldn’t suppress a smile. “Take off your ridiculous pajamas, B. You can stay in a thong if you HAVE TO.”, I glared at her and grinned again when she stripped.

I wanted to touch and kiss those perky breasts of hers and taste her juices again, but this time it was about my pleasure, not hers. She was so sexy when she knelt down in between my legs and started licking me slowly, hesitantly…

I wrapped my fingers in her hair and she kept glancing up at me… I couldn’t stop moaning, she was so damn good with her tongue, and she accidentally let out a few moans and then glared up at me, and I was delighted. I used my legs to pull her as close to myself as I could and pulled her hair harder when she started tongue fucking me. I could feel shivers run over my body, god she was good…

Her tongue was a total miracle, hitting all the right places and swirling around like a little snake…

“Fuck, baby, you’re good.”, I moaned out, annoyed because I called her baby when I wanted to use the not so pleasant b word. I orgasmed so hardddd and was happy when she continued licking until all the juices were gone.

I figured she deserved something for good behavior so I handed her an envelope. She looked surprised and she didn’t say a word, she just remained seated on the floor and tears started running down her face when she saw photos of her mom and the Gang. I actually doubled back afterwards to take those photos, can you even believe that? Why do I care about her so much when all she did was hurt me and drive to do horrible things?

I left her alone and went to have a drink and a cigarette. I know it was early, you don’t have to preach, I just… that orgasm hit me hard and she never even used her fingers. And I wanted to kiss her and hold her so bad, so it freaked me out a little… Those I love yous I’d said ages ago were supposed to be buried underneath layers of anger and hate and weren’t supposed to resurface this damn soon. It made me angry. It made me want to hurt her.

But instead of doing that, I went out to clear my head.


	3. Harley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith and Buffy have a new friend... also a bit of passion and fighting.

I walked around this gorgeous place and admired the lakes and nature in general. I wanted to take Buffy out to take a walk, but I couldn’t trust her not to make a scene just yet. She had a wonderful view from her bedroom window, but I don’t think she knew where she was staying.

I was sitting on a rock and smoking and just staring into the clearest water I’d ever seen. This place was amazing and I kept wishing it was July, not February. I wanted to jump into this lake and swim and dive… You guessed it, we were staying at Lake Tahoe. The dreamland, if you ask me.

I had my own little castle and a princess who didn’t wanna be there, but hey, people get used to all kinds of things. I got her to please me orally on our third day together, on the thirteenth maybe she’ll be the one to suggest it. Who knows.

A small, fluffy black dog ran up to me and jumped straight into my arms. I love dogs. When I was a kid I’d begged my mom for one, but never got it. This one had no necklace or a name tag, nothing, it seemed that the little creature was as lost as me.

Even now that I had what I wanted, I didn’t have it completely, not yet. And B was everything I had. I had no parents to go to, no Watcher, no friends I could visit. No one missed me or waited for me anywhere. I just wanted someone to care, to miss me. Maybe this little fluffy thing would.

“Your name is Harley now, and you’re mine, ok?”, I whispered as I petted the dog, who nested on my lap. It licked my hand, guess it liked the name. I didn’t name it for the comic character, even though Harley Quinn had always been one of my favorites. I named it after a bike I always wanted, and now I could finally afford it and couldn’t wait to buy it.

I threw a little pebble and Harley ran after it. I grinned when the pup ran back to me and jumped on my chest to lick my face. That was so cute. People always say that animals can feel if a person is bad or good. I guess this puppy wasn’t too smart when it got attached to me straight away. But it made me feel good about myself. I couldn’t be all bad if this little thing liked me. I smoked a few more cigarettes and then my new buddy and I walked back home.

We had a few stops on our way, I needed to buy dog food and a collar. For a moment I considered buying two collars, but decided against it. I needed B to agree about something like that. I appeared to be good at convincing her to do stuff, and I kinda thought of making a list of things we could do together.

Harley liked her new collar. I figured the puppy was female when it didn’t lift its leg to pee. Oh, and it never tried to hump my leg. I put it, no, I put HER on a leash, which was red, just like her new collar. I bought her a big snack to chew on and a bright yellow ball to play with. 

She was happy, waving her tail and jumping all over my legs as we walked and I kept saying cute things to her. I finally had a puppy. And I had one that picked me, not the other way round. For the first time in a very long time, I was happy.

I removed her leash as soon as we entered our home, and the little bugger peed all over the floor straight away. Buffy heard noises and looked like she wanted to complain about something, but a smile appeared on her face when she saw Harley.

“Oh my god, you’re so cute!”, she squatted to pet the puppy, who placed her paws on Buffy’s knees when her dress lifted up a little. I couldn’t help noticing that she wasn’t wearing a bra when she leaned over. I lifted my eyebrow at her and she blushed, she actually blushed a little.

“What’s your name, cutie?”, she asked and I answered in a funny voice “My name is Harley.”

“Can I take her for a walk sometimes?”, B asked and she looked so hopeful it almost hurt me to say “Not yet, B. I don’t trust you yet.”

Surprisingly, she didn’t complain. I guess she was just happy to have a new friend, someone she actually wanted to cuddle and play with.

“Love the dress.”, I said when she stood up, it was perfect for her figure, it was cotton, light pink and its sleeves reached up to her elbows, while the dress reached up just above her knees. Its v cut was perfect, showing off her cleavage but somehow it didn’t look sexy, but cute… Everything about her was cute, she looked like Rapunzel with shorter hair.

“I love the puppy. Come on, Faith, let me walk her sometimes. I’ve been locked in here for eight months, I just wanna soak up the sun.”

“Not yet, B. But soon if you’re good.”

She pouted a little and whispered “I’ve made pasta with tomato sauce if you’re hungry.”, and then she took that book she’d been reading when I’d thrown it out of her hands the other night, and she retreated to her bedroom. Harley and I ate our meals and cuddled up on the sofa and fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was covered with a fluffy blanket. It made me smile.

Buffy had finished her book and now she was pampering herself, doing make up and nails and watching TV at the same time. Harley was lying at the bottom of my legs and watching her curiously, but I was happy she chose to stay close to me.

“Wanna look good for me?”, I teased, but she shot me down straight away. “No, I’m doing it for myself. I feel better if I look good. I never feel just good and happy anymore.”

“I could make you feel really good if you pulled that stick out of your ass.”, I couldn’t help teasing more and it made her stand up and leave, but not before she said “I’m not your sex toy, Faith.”

“I know you aren’t, if you were I’d be fucking you right now.”, I glared at her and she glared right back, clenching her jaw.

“What, wanna say something?”, I asked and stood up to face her.

“I do, but you’d lock me up again cause you wouldn’t like to hear it. And words are the only thing I can use against you, I can’t even hit you, I can’t run or do anything but be nice and it’s making me sick, I don’t wanna be nice all the time, I wanna be me, Faith, I want ME back!”

Tears ran down her face and she wiped them away angrily and actually lunged at me. I let her cause I knew she couldn’t hurt me and she’d just end up hurting herself. I smirked at her when she fell down, but she managed to drag me down. I found myself hovering over her and I couldn’t stop myself, I kissed her roughly and passionately. I expected a punch in the face or some more yelling, but she was kissing me back and letting my hands wander over her body.

God, I was turned on. I kissed her neck as I moved my left hand to her breast and squeezed it through the cotton dress. Her lips were so soft, but her kisses were rough, almost animalistic. I pulled her hair and sucked on her neck, but when I moved my hand to her inner thighs, she pushed me off. I kinda wanted to strangle her for doing this to me, making me want her, turning me on…

When she stood up, she looked so desperate, like she was fighting herself and losing and first she screamed, threw everything off of the coffee table, then flipped the table itself and punched me as hard as she could and then screamed again when the electricity shook her. Her hand was bleeding, she must have cut herself when she destroyed the table, but she didn’t seem to even feel it. She was just sitting there, breathing hard and fast. She looked disgusted with herself and she glared at me with such hatred in her eyes I actually flinched and backed away.

“Why can’t you just kill me?”, she whispered and started crying hard.

I wanted to kill her at that moment, for making me feel so many things at once. I loved her, hated her, wanted her, and I hated that she managed to make me feel so much hope and passion with just a few kisses and then she abruptly took it all away and made me feel crappy, like I was using her or doing something wrong.

“If you wanna die, why don’t you do it yourself?”, I asked her and it seemed that the question stumped her. As hopeless as she’d been feeling, she’d never considered suicide. Murder, maybe, but she wasn’t able to do it.

“What, you’d like me to feel guilt over your death too?! Like I don’t feel crappy enough about killing people in Sunnydale!”, I yelled at her and handed her a knife. “Go on, fuckin’ do it. You want a way out, take it! I’m not killing you, B, ever!”

I stopped breathing when her hand wrapped around its handle… She had the strangest look on her face, like she was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, but she wasn’t sure if she was seeing the way out or the train. A sob escaped her, she dropped the knife and started crying.

“I’m gonna lose my mind here, Faith… I can’t anymore. I can’t…”, she cried and I sat down next to her and ran my fingers through her hair. She nested in my arms and cried so hard her whole body was vibrating. But, I was holding her, and after a while, she relaxed and fell asleep in my arms, right there on the floor.

Harley cuddled up next to me and whined, she must have been confused and a bit scared because of B’s outburst. I petted her gently and soon she was fast asleep too.

After about an hour of holding B, I decided to put her in bed and go out to see if any vampires and demons were available to slay here. I was itching for a good kill. I couldn’t even imagine how much she missed slaying… There were three cemeteries there, and luckily found as many vampires too. I slayed two of them, and knocked the third one unconscious.

Why? It was a gift for my girl.


	4. Slaying Me Softly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slaying connecting people

“B, got something for ya!”, I yelled when I entered the house with an unconscious vampire over my shoulder. She appeared as soon as I called, which made me feel good. I dropped him on the floor unceremoniously and her jaw dropped when she saw him.

“Faith…”, she whispered and shooed Harley away when the little munchkin started growling at the vamp. I woke the monster up and threw him down the stairs into the basement. I threw a stake to Buffy and she squeezed it in her hand and jogged to the basement, careful not to set off the bracelet.

She was still wearing that pink dress and the vampire could smell blood on her hand and he looked hungry and excited. But the look on B’s face was… feral. She had been dying for some action and now she wanted to make it last.

They were circling each other and I found a good position to sit down and watch. I grinned as I watched her, she was trying to find a way to be able to fool the device on her hand and do some quality violence.

I swear it was like watching deadly tango. Her arms and legs kept moving so gracefully, she managed to pull him close and knock him down without getting hurt herself and I started worrying that she might try something like that on me too. I didn’t let myself worry too much, though, she was too fun to watch.

When the vamp got a lucky punch to her face, she actually bared her teeth and kicked him too hard for the bracelet’s liking. He stared in surprise when she doubled over, shaking, and then he grinned and jumped on her, ready to bite her.

Even as shaky as she was, she was still able to react and ram that stake into his chest. He exploded into dust and she sneezed and dropped the stake. She continued lying down and breathing hard and she was so sexy… I clapped and said “Well done. Smartly played.”

“Thanks for that.”, she said and her dress lifted up a little as she was getting up. I had sharp eyes and I noticed something red under her dress, on her thigh. Before she managed to say anything, I was on top of her, had her arms pinned above her head and I lifted her dress up. I can’t believe that nothing sexy crossed my mind at that moment.

“What is this?”, I asked, trying to sound angry, but I was mostly just surprised and worried. There were two long and deep scratches on her thigh, and they weren’t bleeding just because her Slayer healing had kicked in and the cuts already started healing.

“I didn’t wanna kill myself, I just wanted to feel something.”, she said and looked away.

“I offered to make you feel something…”

“I wanted to feel calm and like I was in control of something… I didn’t wanna feel dirty.”

“How are you feeling now?”, I asked and it finally hit me that I was holding her hands and that our bodies were practically glued together, and that she wasn’t trying to kick me off or anything.

“Hungry.”, she said, while the other H hovered above us, but she wouldn’t say it, she was too proud. I looked deep into her eyes and kissed her hard, and after a moment of stubbornness, she kissed me back and wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me close. I could hear her heartbeat, it was thumping fast and hard and I asked “Not feeling dirty now then?”

“Not YET.”, she said and stared at me implying that she would later, but she continued kissing me. I don’t even know how, but suddenly she was on top of me and she whispered “If you want me, you’ll let me be on top now. I get to have a semblance of control at least.”

I never thought I’d give up control, but god I wanted her so much… I whispered “Ok.” and she crashed her lips onto mine… the way she kissed me made me feel butterflies and she surprised me when she pulled my pants down and quickly took off her own dress.

It was a bit cold in the basement but in this case it was great because her nipples got hard straight away and I wanted to touch and taste them. It was like she could read my mind because the next moment she was hovering above my lips and I reached up and sucked and pulled on her nipple with my teeth. It made her moan and she kissed me once again and slid down.

“I think I owe you a real thank you for that vamp.”, she clarified and killed a bit of tension I was feeling between us, but it returned with a blast when she buried her tongue inside me so suddenly and made me moan loudly.

Her hands gripped my ass and pulled me up closer to her and I thought I’d explode when I heard her moan while eating me out. There was a spark in her eyes when she looked at me, she looked hungry…

I lifted myself up a little and pulled her hair, it was the only part I could reach at that moment, and I wanted to get in the 69 position, but at the same time I didn’t wanna interrupt her… I feared she’d stop altogether.

That tongue of hers… oh my god, it’s the most perfect thing. I moaned her name a hundred times and then she suddenly slammed two fingers inside me and started going hard and fast… I actually screamed her name and kept moving my waist in the rhythm of her thrusts… When I came, I came so hard I couldn’t move or make a sound and I closed my eyes to pull myself together… and when I opened them like thirty seconds later, she was gone- she didn’t even bother putting on her dress.

I could hear the water running, she was in the shower, and I leaned on the door, wondering if she could feel me. I always felt a little tingle at the back of my neck when she was around… and when we were intimate, the tingle would spread all over.

“Faith, come in.”, she said. She COULD feel me. That was so hot. We were so made for each other. It scared me a little, I’d never had a real relationship before, but I wanted one. I wanted it all with her and I didn’t think she’d be interested.

“What’s up, B?”

“I don’t feel dirty.”, she said and gave me a little smile.

I smiled back and went to have a drink and a smoke. My whole body was still buzzing… I guess I ended up falling asleep because I woke up on the couch… B wasn’t there with me when I woke up, but at least she’d tucked me in.

For the next few weeks it almost felt like we were in a relationship. We developed this little tradition of me bringing her a vampire to slay at least every second day and then we’d have sex… and every time it felt better, every time she stayed a bit longer, to cuddle or kiss afterwards. I’d always thought I’d hated cuddling, but I liked it now.

I liked how her naked body fit against mine when we held each other. She started being way more agreeable, liked to surprise me with lunch or dessert or some new sex pose… She even started initiating the sex, even on days without vampires… I always wanted her, she knew how to turn my world upside down and it felt good to know that I was able to do the same for her.

Most of the times sex was rough and fast and hard, we really perfected the falling off the bed and fuckin’ all over the house. There was one thing that bugged me a little, most of the times she wouldn’t give up control and I was all about being on top… but somehow I started liking it, I trusted her enough to be blindfolded and even cuffed sometimes… not at the same time. But it always made me feel special when she allowed to be taken over completely. It was like, she finally gave me the little safety net she had been holding on to almost desperately.

One of my favorite times was when she let me blindfold and handcuff her to the training pony and I fucked her brains out with my favorite strap on… I was surprised when she let me through ‘the back door’ too. You gotta love Slayer strength and healing, I was able to go as hard as I wanted… and she loved it. Seeing her orgasm after completely giving up control, in every way… It was incredible.

I finally had her. In every single way, she was all mine.

And then I blew it.


	5. Expensive Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith needs magic to conceal Buffy from Angel

We were having breakfast and just chatting and flipping through channels. There was something between us now… New kind of trust and closeness. We weren’t just old frenemies or just fuck buddies anymore. It felt like we were in a relationship, a new budding one where everything was still in the stage of discovery.

It seemed that she liked being near me, that she started feeling something that was more than passion… We were in the middle of a fun argument in which she tried to convince me that aliens existed and it was just a matter of time before they landed in Sunnydale, unless it was too strange even for them, when suddenly her gaze stopped on the TV and her eyes widened almost comically.

“What is it?”, I asked and frowned when I saw Angel’s face on the screen. Apparently he was a PI now. Great, just what I needed. A love sick private investigator looking for his princess. I clenched my jaw, I didn’t know what to say.

B looked so hopeful, her eyes were as bright and round as a kitten’s that was offered the biggest saucer of milk. She didn’t want to stay with me, she wanted him to find her. She wanted to be out there, with him. I lit another cigarette and poured another cup of coffee. I didn’t wanna start an argument, so I picked up the remote and turned off the TV.

“I was watching that.”, she moaned and I inhaled smoke deeply and exhaled it through my nose. I didn’t say anything, just squeezed the remote tighter when she moved her hand toward mine to take it.

“Stop it, B. He won’t find you, don’t get your hopes up.”, I angrily put out the cigarette, went to take a shower and went to my room to brood in bed. Harley curled up next to me, but I couldn’t focus on cuddling her because I was anxious about the fact that Angel was looking for my B now. I decided to take matters into my own hands and I booked the next flight to L.A., which was in just a few hours.

It was time to settle this with him once and for all. No way I’d let him steal her from me again. It was just 8 am, and I wanted to sleep a bit longer, but couldn’t, so I got up and walked to B’s bedroom. The door was open and I peeked through. She was asleep and I sneaked into her bed… I didn’t touch her, I just got under the covers and closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes an hour later, Harley was sleeping on my feet and B was in my arms, sound asleep and looking comfortable. I didn’t know if she was aware of it, so I slipped out of the bed slowly and quietly and went to make coffee. Then I quickly packed things I needed and left them by the door.

A few minutes later, she was up too. She must have enjoyed lying in my arms.

“Faith, what is this? Where are you going?”, B asked, looking surprised and worried. It seemed that she didn’t want me to leave. Or maybe she was just worried about Angel.

“I’m going to L.A. Have a few things to take care of.”, I said shortly, avoiding to look into her eyes.

“You're not gonna hurt Angel, right? Can I come with you? Please, don't leave me here, I need to know what you're gonna do!”, B was close to hysterical and I got mad because she was so worried about her precious Angel again.

“SHUT UP! Stop hopping around me, you’re not going anywhere!”, I yelled and actually caught her in my arms and physically removed her from the corridor where I’d left my luggage.

“Faith, please, let me come with you! I can’t stand to be locked up anymore, I won’t do anything stupid, I’ll be good, I promise!”, she looked honest, but I still couldn’t trust her. She’d stabbed me to save Angel. No way I was letting her anywhere close to him.

“NO, B. I’ll be gone for a few days at least, and maybe, if you’re really good I will take you out for a while. You’re not alone, you have Harley now, so stop being such a drama queen. Now, I gotta board the plane in an hour, but I need some… form of relaxation before I go.”, I grinned at her and started pulling off my belt.

“Oh, forget it. You can’t do one thing for me and I’ve been really good to you. If you hurt Angel, you’re getting nothing else from me ever again.”, she threatened and she looked so defiant it turned me on even more. I pushed her down to her knees and said “Maybe if you’re good I’ll think about not hurting your precious vampire. Now, stop being fuckin’ annoying and put that pretty little mouth to better use than nagging.”

She glared at me, but she pulled my pants down and pushed me against the wall so hard the bracelet shook her a little, but she didn’t care. Her tongue went into action and did an amazing job. As soon as I came, though, she was up on her feet… She wiped her lips and said “If you hurt Angel, I’ll never forgive you.”

Harley ran up to me and wanted to follow me out, but B caught her and said “You’re staying with me, cutie. This evil woman doesn’t let us join her.”

I waved my head, kinda amused, and left.

Just to be clear, I didn’t want to kill Angel. I understood what it was like to want to redeem for shit. I didn’t want to be thought of as ‘the murderer Slayer’. I didn’t want Buffy to think of me that way. What she thought of me mattered.

I tracked him down, though. It was easy cause he’d stirred so much trouble in the underworld and demons and vampires hated him. He was dealing with supernatural cases and was in business of ‘helping the helpless’ and saving souls. I had to respect that. My own soul was in need of some saving.

I just didn’t want him to ever find Buffy. I needed help, I needed magic to conceal her, I couldn’t do that on my own. The Mayor had had a tight business relationship with this shady law firm ‘Wolfram and Hart’. I thought it sounded like a zoo or something. Apparently they were good at what they were doing though, Wilkins wouldn’t have trusted just anyone.

I found their L.A. offices and walked in like I owned the place. This place was designed for confident and rich people, and I had a box checked on both accounts now.

I walked to a counter and said “Faith Lehane, Mayor Wilkins’ heiress.”

Now, that name turned heads. I was quite pleased when a tall, thin woman with a big smile approached me the next second. “Lilah Morgan. We can speak in my office, Miss Lehane.”

Miss Lehane. No one ever called me ‘Miss’ before. It made me feel important. I followed her to her spacious office with the best view ever and accepted a drink of whiskey. She sat in her leather armchair and said “What can I help you with, Miss Lehane?”

“I need someone to magically hide a person. Can that be done?”, I asked and sipped my whiskey. That shit was good.

“Yes, it can, but that’s something very expensive.”

“Money is not a problem.”, I said, sounding more confident than I felt.

“Does that have anything to do with the missing Slayer?”, Lilah’s question made my run blood cold.

I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously and she proceeded “Mayor Wilkins had told us about your history, we’d actually helped him find a safe place for her.”

I didn’t like what I was hearing. No one else was supposed to know about that.

“Well, yes. No point lying to you. I don’t want anyone to find her. There is a certain PI that’s looking for her.”, I frowned and balled my fists, and Lilah actually laughed.

“Ah, Angel. He’s been causing a lot of trouble for everyone. He’s considered a pivotal player in the Apocalypse so we have to keep our paws off of him. But if there’s anything I can do to annoy him, I’m in. “

I grinned happily “Good. He is definitely gonna be annoyed by failing to find his soulmate or whatever he thinks B is.”

I paid for her services, she ripped me off well, but when I left the Wolfram and Hart offices, I still had a smile on my face.

I was expecting B to be antsy, but she was so mad she started yelling at me as soon as I stepped over the threshold.

“Demons and vampires had to bring me groceries last few days!! Do you know how fuckin’ humiliating that is?!”, B yelled as soon as I walked over the threshold.

“Is that your way of telling me you missed me?”, I asked and grinned cheekily as I threw my luggage in the corner.

“I didn’t miss YOU. I just hate depending on things I should be slaying… I can’t believe you…”

She would have ranted and yelled for ages if I hadn’t kissed her. I pushed her against the wall and ripped her shirt off. To my amazement, she was kissing me back as passionately as I was kissing her. My shirt flew off to the floor the next moment…

“You did miss me…”, I whispered and pulled her hair as I sucked on her lip.

“I didn’t…”, she said defiantly… I don’t know why she liked to see me pissed off. Maybe she thought it was sexier. She was a little messed up, just like me.

“Maybe I should leave you more often…”, I said as I ripped her thong off and slammed two fingers inside her. I fingered her hard and fast… and she kept moaning my name, it was the best homecoming gift she could have given me. No, the best gift was when she came so hard… and then got me off with just her tongue. It seemed to be her favorite way and I loved her for it.

I was on cloud nine when she curled up next to me and stole a drag of my cigarette. She held me close and whispered “Maybe I did miss you a little.”

God, hearing her say that… I kissed her passionately and before I knew what I was doing, I was fucking her again… This time with a strap on, and she loved it. Fuck… She fell asleep like a log in my arms and I kissed her forehead gently.

I couldn’t sleep, though. I had so many thoughts in my head. I wondered if B would stay with me willingly if she had a choice. I decided to test her and, as soon as she opened her eyes, I asked:

“Hey, babe, would you like to go for a walk?”

“A walk? You mean… outside??”, she was wide awake suddenly and looking so excited it made my heart flutter.

“I think some fresh air would do you good.”, I said, smiling, and she looked at me, her eyes big with hope and surprise.

“Are you serious??”, she asked and jumped to her feet.

“Yes, babe.”

I kept calling her babe. I realized I was even more hopelessly in love than I had been. I didn’t have to worry about her being found by people anymore. She didn’t have to stay locked up. And I didn’t think she’d run away, but I couldn’t take that bracelet off. I had to be sure that she would want to stay with me…

“OhmygoddddFaiththankyou!!”, she yelled and squealed and Harley squealed too and started waving her tail.

“Yes, cutie, we’re going for a walk.”, I said and B changed into jeans and a white sweater and put a long brown coat on. I caught her hand and led her through the front door, and my heart broke a little when she actually started crying…


	6. Bicycle Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith takes Buffy outside... can Buffy stay?

It was such a lovely day, we were sitting and throwing pebbles into the sea, Harley was running around and jumping all over us... I bought us hot cocoa and we kissed and cuddled... For the first time in... pretty much ever, I was happy.

I should have known something was gonna happen.

There were other couples walking around and a few of them smiled to us, we must have looked really cute. B thanked me a million times for taking her out and promised me she’d thank me properly later… I couldn’t wait.

Harley made a new friend who started sniffing her privates straight away and I made a mental note to sterilize her as soon as possible.

“What happened with Angel in L.A.? Is he looking for me?”, Buffy asked when we sat down on a bench, holding hands.

“Nothing happened. I didn’t even see him, just from afar. Yes, he was looking for you. “

“I don’t understand why you went to L.A. then…”, she frowned slightly and I decided to tell her the truth. I couldn’t read her when I told her about magical concealment, so many emotions passed over her face, which then turned into a mask of indifference.

“Do you still love him?”, I asked her even though I dreaded the answer.

“I probably always will. But we can never be together.”, she said truthfully and I lit a cigarette not to say anything horrible to her. She looked sad and lost in thoughts and I just hmmed and petted Harley, who was trying to climb onto my lap.

“She really loves you. She’s always close to you. While you were gone, I swear she was searching all over for you.”, B said and petted her head. She took my cigarette and inhaled deeply.

“Are you cold? Your hands are shaking.”, I noticed.

“A little. I don’t mind, though. Haven’t been out for so long. Tell me we can stay longer, please.”

“Yeah, sure.”, I said, softly and kissed the top of her head.

“Excuse me for a moment, I’m just going to the toilet.”, she pointed to a coffee bar and I nodded.

I was a bit lost in thoughts and smoking and talking to Harley, the cutest dog that ever existed, but suddenly it hit me that B should have already returned. I picked Harley up and practically ran to the bar.

“Has a blonde girl been here? I’m her… friend. Looking for her.”. I said, feeling nervous.

“Ah, darling, you’ve just missed her.”

“Missed her? What do you mean? Where did she go?”, I asked, I started panicking a little.

“She bought a bike and headed south. You can wait here, I don’t mind.”

I couldn’t believe… I couldn’t believe she’d try to run the first time I let her out. And she was sneaky enough not to run or do anything that would set off the bracelet. She had been riding a stationary bike, she knew it wouldn’t activate it.

Dammit, B! I was more hurt than angry, I felt tears in my eyes… I thought she actually started caring about me. Was it all a lie? Was she really able to lie that well? If yes, the Oscar goes to… I got out without saying a word and ran as fast as I could.

I couldn’t breathe, I felt like my heart would jump out. I couldn’t find her and I wanted to scream and cry and yell and punch myself for trusting her, for letting my guard down… Fuck, fuck, fuck… I kept thinking- what do I do? What the fuck do I do now?

I didn’t have a phone or anything I could use to contact… who the hell would I even contact? She was the only thing I had… and I lost her.

“BUFFY!”, I screamed from the top of my lungs as I ran faster, pushing myself to the limit. My whole body was shaking. She was faster than other people, she could have already reached the police station…

I was panicking really bad, and hating myself for falling for her act, I couldn’t fuckin’ believe it, I just couldn’t…

I did the only thing I could do, I walked home because I needed to go online and had to make a few calls. So many thoughts ran through my head and when I got home and saw a black limo parked in front of it, I had no idea why it would be there. The front door was unlocked and I ran inside like a hurricane, breathing hard and fast.

“Hello, Faith.”, Lilah was grinning at me, so very pleased with herself.

“What…?”, I looked around and saw B was tied to a chair and gagged. She was crying and she looked furious.

“Your naughty little thing almost escaped. You’re lucky I was in the neighborhood and spotted her.”

“Yeah… perfect timing.”, I said, frowning. I was really curious about that ‘coincidence’, but I was even more curious about what B had to say and I pulled the duct tape off of her mouth roughly.

“Explain.”, I said, my voice quiet and menacing, I was so hurt, angry and disappointed I could barely speak.

“I can’t stand being locked up anymore, you took my life! I just wanted to go home, see my mom… and then this crazy bitch kidnapped me again!! I was good to you, I gave you everything and instead of giving me freedom back, you paid someone to keep me hidden from all the people I ever loved!!”

I couldn’t stop myself, I punched her so hard her nose and mouth bled.

“Shut up! You’re the one who made me think I could trust you and you ran as soon as you poked your nose out of the house! You fuckin’ ungrateful bitch! You wanna go? Run!”, I said and untied her.

She ran despite knowing she would get electrified. It made her scream and she fell over, but continued going, even though her body was shaking so hard. “Ohgodaaaahhh!”, she yelled in pain, her skin was covered in sweat… I got close to her and she bit my leg and even though my stupid heart was breaking, I kicked her so hard she flew against the wall and passed out.

“Fuck… fuck.”, I whispered and tears spilt down my face. I caught her into my arms and gently laid her down onto the sofa.

I swallowed hard and angrily wiped my tears away. When did I become such a wuss? Lilah was sitting there, sipping whiskey she’d poured for herself and smiling.

“What the fuck are you smiling about? Why are you here?”, I asked rudely and poured myself a drink and lit a cigarette with shaky hands. Harley moved over to B and licked her face and I had to use all of my strength not to burst into tears.

“You’re welcome.”, she almost giggled, but I glared at her so she cleared her throat and said “Ok, well… I’m here because, well… I need you to do something for me now.”

“Why would I do anything for you? I paid you fuckin’ good money for your services!”

“Oh, but if it wasn’t for me, she’d be on her way home now. Lucky for you, my timing was perfect. The little blondie actually asked me for help and was so stunned when my friends knocked her out and threw her in the car. You should really keep her on a tighter leash.”

“Fuck you.”, I spat out.

“Faith, don’t forget I know stuff and that I CAN take her from you. Right now, even, if I want to. Our magic worked, she’s concealed.”

I punched her as hard as I could… and she just laughed. She pressed a button and suddenly a whole bunch of guys burst into my apartment. The bitch knew how to operate the security system, too. Fuck. I so didn’t like it, none of it.

“Yo, yo, what do you think you’re doing?!”, I yelled and when they all headed toward B.

“Taking her away. We can look after her for you, keep her warm… well, warm enough, some of our vampires would love to drink her, especially Darla, who’s got a huge grudge against her.”

“You’re so loving this, huh?!”, I yelled and ran my hand through my hair, I was starting to be desperate. “FINE, FINE, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!”, I asked when this huge guy literally threw her over his shoulder and started walking toward the door.

“Put her down.”, she told the guy, “Ok, Faith. First go to Sunnydale and find out what’s going on there. Vampires have been getting cocky. It seems they have a new leader, one that’s cunning and has resources. Something strange has been happening there for a while now and we need to find out what it is exactly. We’ll tighten the security here and keep your birdie in a cage.”, Lilah said in a sweet voice and I realized that I was in her clutches and not the other way round.

“So what do you want me to do about this Sunnydale thing?”, I was confused, I liked it all black and white on paper, without funny shit.

“It depends… If it’s something that might hurt our clients, we’ll have to take care of it. If it helps our clients, it can stay.”

“So, basically, you want me to let bad guys win and remove the threat of the White Hats?” B would go bonkers if she knew this.

“That’s right. See ya soon, Faith.”

Lilah and her band of gorillas were finally out of my hair and I caught B into my arms and slowly woke her up.

“Faith… No… No.”, she started mumbling and trying to wiggle out of my arms and I could hear my heart shatter… she sounded so scared and angry at once and tears ran down my face. I hated myself for crying, and hated her for making me fall so hard… I loved her so much. So fuckin’ much.

“B… I love you. Why did you have to pull this shit off? Why did you make me hurt you?”, I sobbed and wiped my tears away. My fingers moved to her face and gently caressed it, especially the parts I’d hit.

She looked stunned. For a moment she just stared at me. “You don’t love me… you can’t… you wouldn’t have done that do me if you loved me…”, her voice sounded angry at first, but when she got to the end of the sentence it was just a whisper. She looked uncertain, surprised and very confused. She didn’t think I’d ever cry, I guess.

“I do love you. I thought you… I thought you started caring about me… and then you did this… Gotta say you’re a brilliant actress, B. I can’t even…”, I threw an empty glass against the wall not to burst into tears. I was so hurt…

“I did, Faith! I had sex with you because I wanted to! I just thought… You’d trust me and give me my life back. I thought we could be a couple, not a prisoner and captor.”, she was crying and I felt like the worst creature in the world.

“B, I’m so sorry.”, I kissed her forehead and her face and her lips. “I wish I could take it back; I shouldn’t have done it.”

“She hadn’t pushed me away when I’d kissed her, so I did it again, passionately this time. It earned me a hard slap and she walked away from me.

The way she looked at me while walking, though… It made me smile.


	7. The King of Vampires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vampires take over Sunnydale... and they have a King.

I had to leave her again. I thought some distance would be good for both of us. Maybe she’d start missing me again. I missed her already and I hadn’t even left.

“Please, let me know if my mom and friends are ok as soon as you know.”

“I can’t let you know, B. We don’t have a phone here and I’m not giving you internet connection. You fooled me as soon as you poked your nose out of the house and you’re gonna have to live with that.”

“Can I come with you then? Please, Faith, I gotta know what’s going on. I’ll forgive you the concealment thing if you let me tag along.”

That was tempting. But I couldn’t do that. “Sorry, B.”, I said, pulled her into a hug she wiggled out of angrily, and I was out of the door.

I slept during the flight and as soon as my feet touched the solid ground, I could FEEL something horrible in the air. I was practically buzzing. I hadn’t felt my Slayer senses tingling that loudly before.

“Something weird is going on in Sunnydale. Cocky vamps? Understatement of the year, Lilah.”, I muttered to myself when I saw vampires roam around like they owned the place. No humans anywhere on the streets, unless vampires were drinking them.

“Fuck.”, I whispered and kept to the shadows. First I had to check on people that mattered most to B. I had no one I cared about here anymore. Mrs. Summers was hanging out with a few people, it seemed that they were having a book club night or something like that. They were dressed in pajamas and I assumed they’d spend the night because it was too dangerous to get out now. Good thinking.

The closest house was Red’s, and she wasn’t home, and neither were her parents, the house was dark. Xander was in his parents’ basement with a blonde girl, looking pale and distressed. It seemed that was his girlfriend. Good for him. Hope he can last more than 7 minutes now.

Giles’ place was empty, which was a bit strange because the guy liked to spend his evenings with a cup of tea and a book. He was also Buffy’s Watcher so I figured he might be taking over Slaying for her. Sunnydale without a Slayer… I didn’t know if it made me feel amused or queasy. Something in the middle, I guess.

Being a… well, THE Slayer at the moment, I couldn’t just walk around a town that was practically flooded with vampires and demons, who were apparently working together, and it was really weird cause it never happened. According to my dead Watcher Diane, it was like stuff of fairytales. Yet, it was very much real.

Everything inside me was itching for a fight, for violence… The whole thing with B had taken a toll on me too. No sex, no release of any kind. Despite Lilah’s orders, I jumped into the thick of things a block after Giles’ place. There was a small group of vampires, four of them, and I grinned and started kicking ass like there was no tomorrow…

“Thought the Slayer wasn’t supposed to be here!”, one of them yelled.

“I thought the Slayer was blonde!”, another one was confused and I cleared things up for him by staking him good and proper.

The only female in the mix said something that made me falter a little, and I got distracted enough to receive a few punches: “We have to tell the King about this!”

“Another Slayer has been Called?”

“That means that…”

“GUYS!”, I caught one of them and placed a stake over his heart. “Do you mind telling me what you’re on about? You have a King now? I’m not a new Slayer, by the way. I’m Faith.”

“Mayor’s Faith? I thought you were on our side.”, the one in my grasp said and I answered “I’m on my side.” And staked him. “Now, where is this King?”

Only two of them were left, a guy with medium long wavy hair, who didn’t look very bright, and this female blonde vampire who seemed to be more badass than the others. She had style too, I think I would have gotten along with her if she’d been alive… I don’t care much for vampires. She was sporting the rock chic look and I gotta say it worked for her.

“He’s… how about I take you there? I don’t wanna get dusted as soon as you find out.”

“Smart girl.”, I grinned. “Ok, fine, lead the way, blondie.”

“What did you call me?”, she narrowed her eyes, she looked pissed, she wasn’t used to not being in charge. Ha, maybe she was more like B than me then.

“I don’t know your name. Look, stop wasting my time and lead the way.”

“My name is Sunday, bitch.”

“Ok, Sunday Bitch, shut up and lead.”

It looked like she wanted to protest so I killed her last buddy, just to show her who was in charge. It shut her up and she walked on. When I realized she was leading me to Angel’s mansion, I felt my heart beat faster. _Is Angel back in Sunnydale? Did I miss something?_ I thought and squeezed the stake in my hand.

The place was guarded by vampires and some warrior looking demons and I was heavily outnumbered. I couldn’t just burst in there. I had to be smart about this. I hid behind a big bush and waited. Sunday skedaddled when she figured I’d stopped paying attention to her. I didn’t really care, I rolled my eyes and concentrated hard.

I wanted to light a cigarette, but didn’t want to attract any attention. Vampires had enhanced senses. There were a few people I recognized from Sunnydale High, they were vampires now. _B would be really upset if she saw this,_ I thought, but I changed my mind about that very quickly.

She would go postal if she saw this. There was a face I knew all too well. It belonged to a once shy geek who was now wearing leather and drinking from a girl’s neck… Red. God. They got Willow. It explained Xander’s distress. I didn’t know how I would break the news to B. I was so lost in thoughts I hadn’t heard anyone approaching until someone said my name and made me jump.

“Oz?!”, I hissed through teeth. He’d almost given me a heart attack. He was with a few guys I didn’t know and he looked pissed as hell.

He actually held a knife under my neck and growled “Are you working for them now?”

“I just got here, dude. Who’s ‘them’?”, I asked and he removed the knife, but continued to glare at me.

“How do I know I can trust you? You wanted to kill us all.”

“Come on, Oz, just fuckin’ spill. If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead now. You’re not exactly scary unless you get all hairy. Hey, it rhymes.”

“These are my friends: Veruca, Riley and Tara. Tara’s a witch and probably the only reason we’re still alive tonight. Xander and Anya were supposed to meet us here, they’re late… it could mean…”

“I didn’t know you were physically capable of coming up with such a long sentence. It sucks about Red.”, I said awkwardly, I didn’t think it meant much coming from someone who’d actually held her hostage once.

“The thing is, Faith, I don’t know why you’re here and I gotta say your timing is suspiciously perfect. Without Buffy around, this whole town is doomed.”

I swallowed hard and looked away for a second and he actually chuckled. It was a pretty scary sound though. More like a growl. “You know where she is. You’re the reason she hasn’t been around to save… to save Willow.”

“And M-Mr. G-Giles.”, Tara stammered and I found it hard to believe that she was a witch who kept them alive.

“Giles is dead?”

He was a decent guy. He was like a father to B. His death shook me. I didn’t wanna think about how it would affect Buffy. I dreaded telling her. I honestly didn’t know how I’d do it.

“Well, technically…”, that Veruca chick said. There was something about her, I couldn’t put a finger on it, but didn’t think that she was quite human.

“Sssh!”, Riley hissed and pointed his head to the direction of Angel’s mansion. My jaw dropped. I kinda imagined I would have to use my hands to pull it back into place. I’d expected to see Angel there, but not like that. He was chained up and being whipped by Red. I looked at Oz, who looked like he just wanted to curl up and cry.

“What the…”, I whispered. Everybody was kneeling now, their heads were bowed, only Red was standing up and holding Angel on a leash. Why was she different? She’d been the mousey one that people walked over… she wasn’t that girl anymore, that’s for sure.

“Is that…?”, I whispered, surprised. “Spike and Drusilla.”, Oz nodded and frowned. A gorgeous blonde vampire hugged Red from the back and kissed her passionately. Forgot to mention that the vampire was female.

“Willow is gay?”, I whispered, never ever would have guessed. Now I understood why she’d hated me. She’d been crushing on B and I’d actually fucked her. I couldn’t help smiling.

“That’s Darla. She’s the vampire that sired Angelus.”, Riley said and I remembered that Lilah had mentioned her. The one with a grudge against B. And now she was here, kissing Red. I figured she’d turned her just to punish Buffy.

They already mentioned that Giles had been killed, but that didn’t mean that I was prepared to see the scene that was unfolding before my very eyes. If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t have believed it. I’m still not sure that I believe it.

A throne was being carried out of the mansion. It looked heavy and several vampires were needed to keep it up. The only four vampires allowed to stand were Red, Spike, Drusilla and Darla.

“Hail to the King!”, vampires roared. Indeed, the vampire on the Throne had a crown on his head. He smirked, showing his fangs and I actually fell down on my ass. I had managed to pull my jaw up earlier, but this time it decided to stay down. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think at all. The only thought that fit into my head was

_Giles. The King of Vampires._


	8. Thunderstorms and Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy gets bad news, but a nice surprise too

I don't know how I managed to walk to Oz's place. I was kinda on auto-pilot. You know, I had convinced myself that I’d hated B and all of her stupid little friends, and now that I was forced to face these brutal truths, I realized I had always cared about them. Especially Giles.

Seeing him… he’s a fuckin’ vamp, dude! I just couldn’t wrap my head around it and when Oz offered me a beer, I was happy to accept it.

Xander and Anya, his girlfriend, were in Oz’s hidey hole as he called it. At least they weren’t dead and we’d already started grieving them.

Seeing me made Xander lose it a little, he attacked me and I didn’t attack back, which gave me bonus points with everyone. I promised them I’d bring B home and they stopped eyeing me like I was a ticking bomb.

“So, what do you think we should do?”, Riley looked at me like I was some sort of a leader, which caught me by surprise. I actually stammered “I… I don’t think I am qualified…”

“You’re the Slayer, right?”, he insisted and I shrugged “Guess so, yeah.”

I lit a cigarette and sipped my beer slowly… I couldn’t believe they were looking at ME to come up with a plan. After everything I’d done… I took a deep breath…

“OK, well… There are too many of them. We need a good plan. I wouldn’t say no to magic.”, I glanced at Tara, this awfully shy, but cute witch who apparently had problems with her self-esteem.

“I don’t t-think I c-can…”, she stammered and Veruca caught her hand and said “Oh of course you can. I’ll be there with you the whole time. We can pull anything off.”

I lifted my eyebrow, something was going on there… “She’s also a werewolf.”, Oz said.

“Do you have any special powers?”, I asked Riley, who suddenly looked embarrassed. “I have… blasters.”

“Blasters?”, I actually chuckled.

“I used to work in this government thing that hunted demons. Didn’t really work out for us.”

“Giles’ team burnt it all to the ground.”, Oz explained in a few words. “Demons and humans alike. I’m one of a few who got out alive.”, Riley added and clenched his jaw.

“If Buffy had been here, none of this would have happened.”, Xander glared at me and I couldn’t deny that he was right.

“Sweetie, no point in coulda shoulda… Faith wants to make amends. If you’re gonna rag on her, you gotta do the same to me. I’ve killed thousands… maybe even millions in a thousand years. Faith here… just a few.”, Anya said and I looked at her, surprised. I wasn’t used to having people on my side, trying to defend me. Ok, Giles and Buffy would have done that for me, but I’d blown them off to another continent back then.

“Thanks… Anya.”, took me a moment to remember her name. She just shrugged, it looked like she was also trying to come to terms with her human side. Was I getting my human side back too? My soul or whatever? I wasn’t sure I deserved to be forgiven for everything, and I had no idea how I’d face B.

“We may have an advantage here.”, I said and inhaled cigarette smoke deeply. They looked at me expectantly. “B is magically concealed. They won’t see her coming. She is our element of surprise. We just need…”

“Bait. And that’s gonna be you. Not gonna rag on you…”, Xander looked at Anya, and cautiously proceeded “But you’re a twisted girl.”

“Fair enough. I can be bait. They know who I am. What’s sweeter to vamps than Slayer’s blood? And damn, Red is gonna want to sink her teeth… uh, not in a sex way!”, I corrected myself.

“Are you and Buffy together?”, Veruca asked, she seemed to like the idea.

“I wouldn’t say ‘together’… I don’t know, it’s all complicated.”, I so didn’t want to get into our private stuff now, it was kinda making my head spin.

“Doesn’t matter. We’re just gonna need some badass weapons.”, Oz said.

“I know where to get them.”, Xander surprised us all and apologetically looked at Riley “I don’t think your blasters are gonna be enough, man.”

“Ok, well… you guys do your thing here, and I’m gonna get you Buffy.”, I said and slowly got up.

“I kinda can’t wait to meet her. She’s almost mythic now, everyone’s been rambling about her.”, Veruca said and then looked at me apologetically and said “Whoa, whoa, not gonna try to steal your girl, Faith, Tara is enough for me.”

Tara blushed like a tomato and I said “Ok, good to know.” and smiled at Tara. I don’t even know why Veruca thought she had to explain anything, I guess my facial expressions couldn’t lie. _I should never pursue a career in Hollywood_ , I thought.

Oh, and… I thought the same thing as soon as I entered our place the next morning when B got to me and said “Hey, you’re… Faith? What’s wrong?”

I threw my bag to the floor and pulled my girl in a tight hug. “B… there’s something I need to tell you and…”

She stiffened, and I mean… she was as still as a statue and her face was as white as one when she asked “My mom?” God, she sounded like a little girl.

“Not your mom, no, B… but…”, I swallowed hard and she squeezed my hand tightly and looked straight into my soul, I swear. “Who?”, she whispered.

“Giles and Willow… B… B…”, I kept whispering her name cause she slid down to the floor and just stared ahead. It was like she wasn’t even breathing for a while. I shook her a little and she let out a sob that sounded… hollow. Like she was hollow inside. I’d never heard such a scary sound in my life.

“B, listen to me. Can you hear me?”, I asked, I was getting really worried. I snapped my fingers in front of my nose and she didn’t blink. I tried to slap her, gently, but nothing. After five minutes or calling her name and gently wiping her face with a wet cloth, I pulled her to the shower and sprayed her with cold water.

“Faith?”, she looked at me after a few minutes, her teeth were chattering, but she wasn’t moving. Water was still hitting her face and I turned it off. She was wearing a black sweater and tights; clothes were glued to her body.

“B… Can you hear me now?”, I asked and caught her chin in my hand so she’d focus her gaze on me.

“Y-yeah… What… How?”, she couldn’t even form questions. I pulled her out of the shower and slowly removed her clothes, she didn’t seem to be able to do it herself. I couldn’t help glancing at her naked body, but sex was really the last thing on my mind just then. I don’t know what was on her mind, though, because the next moment she was kissing me, desperately… and I couldn’t do it. I still can’t believe that I actually broke the kiss and wrapped a towel around her.

“First we need to talk.”, I whispered and gently brushed her hair. She didn’t wanna talk and hear what I was about to say, her whole body was like it was shutting down, wrapped in a coat of denial. I carried her to the living room, made her a hot cup of tea and once I was sure I had her undivided attention, I told her the whole story.

“How am I supposed to fight Giles and Will, Faith? I don’t think I can…”, she was crying so hard I didn’t know how to make her stop or comfort her.

“Come on, B, we’ll figure this shit out, we can do it together.”, I told her the plan we’d come up with and she suddenly ran toward the training room. Of course, sudden movements set off the bracelet and she screamed. She seemed to be quite awake and aware of stuff then and she yelled “IF I’D BEEN THERE, THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!”

“B, I know, I’m trying to fix it…”, I said, I was desperate… I could feel tears in my eyes again, and god, I hated to cry and feel so horrible. “Please, B… Forgive me.”, I whispered and pulled her into my arms. I hugged her as tightly as I could and since she couldn’t free herself she ended up hugging me back and sobbing into my neck.

“When do you wanna go to Sunnydale?”, I asked and she looked at me like she just realized that she’d have to go back there and see everyone, except… you know. So many emotions danced on her face…

“As soon as possible.”, she said and wiped her tears away. Her hands were shaking so badly… I caught them in my own and then buried my fingers in my jeans pocket… I fished out a small key and pushed it into a tiny lock on her bracelet. Her eyes widened in surprise when I unlocked it and removed it. She kept looking at me and her bare wrist… her right hand kept caressing the wrist… And then connected to my face so hard I thought she might have broken my jaw.

“Faith…”, she whispered and her eyes filled with tears again.

“It’s ok. Don’t cry anymore, please. Come on, let’s pack you up and leave.”, I said and sighed. I knew there was no chance in hell she’d stay with me now that she had a choice. She ran to her room and looked so relieved when she didn’t get shaken by the electricity. Suddenly she turned around and ran into my arms and knocked me over. Her lips captured mine and I was too stunned to even kiss her back. Our eyes met and we were quiet for a moment and she kissed me once more and ran off again.

I swear to god I didn’t understand a damn thing at that moment. I just understood that she didn’t plan on returning to this place now that she was free because she’d packed absolutely everything she owned…

I couldn’t complain, though. I didn’t say anything, I walked at least six feet away from her on our way to the plane and I settled in a booth that was farthest from hers. I opened that small bottle of whiskey and sipped it. Harley settled down on her own seat and started dozing off as soon as the plane started moving.

I was even allowed to smoke in this plane, so I lit a cigarette and closed my eyes. I didn’t wanna look at something I knew I’d never have again. I promised myself, if I survived this shit, I’d go back to Boston and pull my shit together.

My first Watcher, Diane, had actually left me her apartment, so I had a place to go to. I had no one to go to, but that was the same anywhere in the world. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t make B love me, I shouldn’t have even tried to. I don’t know why I even thought that forcing her to stay with me would work. Maybe because I didn’t know how love was supposed to work…

I opened my eyes when I felt familiar weight on my lap. B. She was sitting on my lap and staring into my eyes. I put out the cigarette and I think I forgot how to breathe when she ran her fingertips over my cheek and planted her lips on mine. She was kissing me.

It took me a moment to react, but I kissed her back slowly and deeply. She was probably in the state of temporary insanity when she asked “Have you ever had sex on a plane?”

My eyebrows lifted in surprised and I said “No.”

“Would you like to?”, she whispered in my ear and licked it slowly.

“Oh, yes!”, I exclaimed and kissed her passionately this time.

You know that expression ‘being on cloud 9’? I was on clouds literally… Mmmm…


	9. The Big Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to take down The King of Vampires

B is like the Tardis. Bigger on the inside. No, wait, gotta paraphrase that. Uh… I meant… If you didn’t know her and saw that petite body of hers you’d think that one strong wind would blow her away… but she’s the one that would blow you away. She’s so strong, both physically and mentally, and there’s so much love and passion bottled inside her, with just enough naughtiness in the mix. And I was lucky enough to feel what it was like when all that passion started spilling out…

The flight was too short for us, we needed more time and we were still half naked when we landed. We got dressed as quickly as we could and fixed our make-up and hair just enough not to blush in front of Ms. Summers. Seeing that woman was the last thing I wanted to do, I was aware that I put her through hell… and she’d always been so kind to me.

When we got to the Summers house, B took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Her eyes were already starting to fill with tears, and as soon as her mother opened the door, they spilt down her face. I was holding Harley in my arms and I squeezed her a bit closer to my body.

“Buffy!”, Ms. Summers exclaimed and pulled her daughter into a hug. She was shaking with relief, they were both crying and I just stood there, awkwardly. How do you apologize for kidnapping someone’s daughter? Well, I wasn’t the one who kidnapped her, she was The Mayor’s gift to me, but if I hadn’t told him that I wanted her… It was early afternoon, but she urged us both to get inside anyway, and she locked the door behind us.

“Faith? I heard you’d woken up… Uh, where did you two meet? Are you friends now?”, Ms. Summers asked, looking confused while preparing drinks and snacks for us. That’s what moms do when they care, right? I don’t know much about that. When my mom was sober enough to give a damn about the fact that I existed she would give me some change to go buy ice-cream.

I looked at my shoes and said “Actually, I…”

“Faith, mom and I have more important things to talk about than about how you and I ended up together.”, B jumped in and glared at me. I glared back, I hated to keep something like that to Ms. Summers, but I figured she was right. The gloomy look on her mom’s face told me she didn’t have many good things to tell us.

“Awww look at the puppy… so cute!”, Ms. Summers said, smiling, but after a moment her face darkened.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news, honey…”, Ms. Summers said, looking at B, who sighed and said “I know… Giles and… and Will. Mom, I think it would be best if you left Sunnydale.”

“What?! I can’t leave, I just got you back! How can you even…?”

“Please, mom, I’ll come find you… It’s bad here now. I can’t risk you. Once they find out I’m back, they’ll do everything in their power to hurt me. And they know nothing would hurt me more than losing you.”

“Oh, Buffy…”, the poor woman sighed and started crying again. “Ok, but let me at least make lunch for you girls. Sweetie, you’re so pale and thin...”

“Thanks, mom. I’m ok, really. Don’t worry about me. Just promise me you’ll go away as soon as possible. Please, mom.”, B looked so shaken up and her mom couldn’t say no to her as much as she wanted to.

B helped her pack, to be able to spend as much time as possible with her… I sat down on a bench in the backyard and smoked and watched Harley run around. She was excited about being to a new place. Once again Ms. Summers treated me with care and I dreaded the moment when I’d have to break her bubble and let her know that I had actually had her daughter kidnapped.

It felt like I had a huge stone stuck in my throat, I couldn’t swallow properly. I made a decision to tell her the truth as soon as everything got sorted out.

As soon as Ms. Summers drove away, B was in soldier mode. She changed into an olive tank top and baggy black pants and Dr. Martens shoes, stuffed her pockets with stakes and knives, placed her favorite silver cross necklace around her neck and picked up an ax. She looked beyond badass.

“You’re a bait, Faith, you can’t have any weapons on you.”, she said when I took a knife and was gonna place it in my jacket sleeve. “Damn, B, you planning on letting them kill me?”

“I might do that if you piss me off now.”, she said and smiled.

“You’re not terribly funny, you know.”, I looked at the knife longingly. “Why did you lie to your mom?”, I asked, I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me.

“We’re gonna need much more time for a conversation like that. If you ever decide to have it with my mom. I mean, are you gonna stick around if we… if we survive?”, she glanced at me for a moment and I didn’t know what to say, how to answer it. I was ready to do whatever she wanted me to do. I thought I saw a spark of hope in her eye, but figured I was probably just imagining it.

“Ok, Faith… you should go meet Oz and his friends.”, she said and I frowned.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“No. I’m supposed to be the big surprise. I’m planning on delivering that role perfectly. But, be careful. Don’t act too baity, you’re not Cordy. Damn, she was the perfect bait!”

“So… uh, what do you say before jumping into battle? Good luck?”, I asked, feeling so nervous and lame. I don’t remember ever feeling lame before.

“Yeah… good luck. I don’t wanna say goodbye just yet.”, B looked away and absentmindedly ran her finger over the ax’s blade. It cut her, but she didn’t flinch.

I didn’t know if I’d get another chance, so I pulled her into a kiss and whispered “Ok, well. Good luck. I love you, you know that right?”

“I know.”, she said and for a second I thought she’d say it back, but she didn’t… She just looked at me like she was really sorry to see me go. Her sadness was almost palpable. I caressed her cheek gently for a second and ran out of the house.

I was on the right side of the Apocalypse Team now and I honestly wondered if I’d make it out alive. People like me don’t get happy endings. Or if they do, do they deserve them? I wasn’t sure about anything. I just knew I’d try my best.

I burst into Oz’s hidey hole, which was packed with people. “Wow. You guys have assembled an army.”, I said and Xander chimed in “Avengers!” I was among the few people who smiled, I loved comic books! I had a nice collection too, and I just wanted to read and eat junk food… and ok, something else, but I don’t wanna get my hopes up. I don’t know if B will wanna be my favorite snack food in the future.

“Ok, guys, we’ve got weapons and everything, and Buffy’s our Wild Card…”

“I’m starting to think we should burst in now, in the middle of the afternoon, they won’t see it coming.”

“Isn’t Drusilla a seer or something?”

Everyone was talking and coming up with suggestions, they were all very spirited and I just hoped their spirits would be attached to their bodies after the battle. After a semi-heated discussion, we decided to strike. The sooner, the better… and we were all hoping they wouldn’t see us coming.

**Buffy’s POV**

I never realized my being here made a difference. It always felt like I could never win, no matter how hard I tried. But, I had been on the winning side. Sunnydale suffered badly without me to protect it. I’d been away for ten months and four days, and now that I was back I was wondering if the damage done was too much for me to fix.

I walked by Willow’s house and remembered that I’d never hang out with her again. My best friend was gone forever. I felt my heart break, and I so wanted to curl up and cry, to mourn her and Giles properly. I didn’t want to face the monsters that killed them. But, I couldn’t afford mourning time yet. I inhaled air deeply, so deeply my lungs hurt, I swallowed the tears and marched on. I climbed a tree which provided me with a great view of Angel’s mansion and waited for our little gang to show up.

Demons were guarding the mansion while the vampires were sleeping inside. It’s so cute that they’re getting on so well… not. I wanted to kill them all. Everything inside me was screaming for it. I’d been out of commission for too long.

I was just starting to get very antsy when I heard Faith’s voice. “I’m here to talk to G-Man. Lilah Morgan sent me.”

She knew how to attract attention; I’ll give her that. The sun had just set and I gasped when the door opened and Willow got out, with ANGEL on a leash. Now that’s a scene I never thought I’d see. She was wearing leather and looking all dominatrix and Angel was bruised all over. I wanted to jump down and save him, but then I remembered that I had many people to save, not just him.

“Faith. Good to see you again.”

“Wish I could say the same, Red.”

“I can sire you and we can be on the same side this time.”, Willow’s face contorted into the ugly vampire face and my heart broke once again. I actually gasped… that hurt so much.

Everyone’s attention was on Faith, even Giles himself got out to greet her, which must have been a huge deal because Will, Darla, Spike and Dru looked surprised. They formed a protective circle around him, looking alert and deadly with their vampire faces on.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of Giles. He still looked so gentle, on the surface he was still the best father I ever had, the only difference was that there was a crown on his head and he wasn’t wearing glasses.

Faith was a damn good bait, I had to admit that. All the important players were in front of the mansion now, protecting their King and marveling at the prospect of having a rogue Slayer on their side. No one noticed groups that started forming on all sides, ready to attack.

I was stunned when I realized that Oz and Veruca had changed and they were still quite aware of everything that was going on around them. They were still thinking with their human heads and I wondered how. My eyes landed on a blonde girl who was concentrating hard on something. A witch. We had a witch on our side, cool.

“I wish Buffy was here.”, I covered my mouth with my hand when I heard Giles say that. He sounded so Gilesy… like he really missed me. Like he just wanted to know that I was ok and like he just wanted to hug me awkwardly and then start bugging me with prophecies and books. I would have given anything in the world to hear him say “Dear Lord, Buffy, stop talking about boys and concentrate on what I’m saying. If my calculations are correct, we’re about to face an Apocalypse.”

Tears blurred my vision and I wiped them away and swallowed the lump in my throat.

“You don’t have to worry about B. I took care of her. She’s been my prisoner for almost a year. You’re welcome.”, she smiled and bowed dramatically.

“Oh.”, Willow actually pouted and I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “I was hoping she’d show up and try to save the day… I’d love to taste her blood; Spike’s been making my mouth water with his tales of Slayers’ blood.” She lit a match and threw it on Angel’s bruised chest, to make herself feel better, I guess.

I noticed that the team in the back started quietly slaying vampires. Bless dear old vamps, they just turned into dust and weren’t attracting attention while dying.

There were demons that would turn into gooey puddles sometimes, I liked those.

“She was like a daughter to me… I’d love to MAKE her my daughter now.”, Giles sighed. “Why don’t you bring her to me, Faith? I’ll consider siring you too if you do that for me. Otherwise I’ll just kill you.”

Faith looked startled. She wasn’t sure what to say or do. She didn’t want to show fear, but she was feeling it, a whole damn lot of fear.

“Why would you kill me? I’ve been useful to you.”

“You’re good at many things, Faith, but you’re not a good liar.”

I jumped off of the tree, it was time to make a move while Faith was still alive. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I ran, holding my ax before me. Our team, which was pretty big actually, ran at the same time. There were cries of war in the air, cries of surprise and pain…

I don’t know how many demons and vampires I decapitated while running toward Giles. I was on fire!! Everyone was fighting, even Faith, who didn’t have any weapons, so I provided her with a stake while my eyes were locked with Giles’. He looked so… proud.

I glanced at Angel, who looked like he just saw god, and I smiled at him and threw him a stake. He slammed it into Willow’s chest the next second. He was hurt, but ready to fight. I looked at Faith, who nodded to me and staked a vampire who was holding an ax. When he dusted, the ax was hers and she grinned as she slayed everything that moved in her vicinity. She was beyond incredible, I just wanted to watch her, but I had my share of monsters to slay.

I didn’t know how much time had passed, but suddenly, when I looked around, the crowd was tiny. Dead demons were all over the place, and it seemed that many of them had skedaddled too.

Giles, Spike, Drusilla and Darla were still alive, covered in blood… I noticed dead bodies of brave Sunnydale residents scattered about and felt a stab of pain in my heart… but there were way more dead folk on their side. I looked at myself, I was covered in blood and goo and dust and I stank of death. Couldn’t wait to take a shower.

“Buffy. Magnificent as always.”, Giles said, but I noticed that he wasn’t looking as calm as earlier. His jaw was clenched and he was probably imagining what it would be to rip my heart out or something gross like that.

“Why, thank you.”, I said and mimicked Faith’s bow and she winked at me and appeared by my side. Giles walked toward me, his eyes locked on mine. His Fanged Three watched us so intently they failed to notice Angel, who was like a wild animal let off of the leash. He staked Spike and Drusilla started wailing and throwing herself about, while Darla bared her fangs and ran to Giles. She wasn’t gonna die now that she was finally back and able to cause massacres all over the world once again.

Angel was by my side now too and him and Faith exchanged angry looks, which I had to admit was kinda amusing. If Drusilla hadn’t been wailing like a wounded elephant, it would have been perfectly silent at that moment. She was making my head hurt, so I threw a stake and got her heart. Poof, dust.

I just wished, wished so hard that I was sure I was piercing the walls of dimensions, that I could bring Giles back as human, without having to slay him. I must have said it out loud because Xander’s blonde girlfriend appeared and said “Wish granted.”

Giles passed out and Darla, the only vampire around him now, frowned and said “What the hell just happened?”

“You know; I don’t usually do things like that… but Xander would have wanted me to help you out.”

“Would have wanted…”, I croaked.

“He died fighting Spike.”, a tear ran down her face and I hugged her.

Darla was thinking about running, but Angel leapt and staked her, and I thought it was hilarious that her last words were “Fuck you, Angel.”, I actually burst out laughing.

Game over.


	10. Kingman's Bluff Randevouz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy and Faith wander through Sunnydale and end up at the same place

**Buffy's POV**

After we tended to the wounded and all the dead, we headed to Giles' place. It was a good thing that Oz had a van, he gave us all a ride home. It wasn’t a long ride, but it felt like eternity. None of us said a word. We didn’t know what to say. We were kinda happy we survived the battle, but horrible sadness of losing our friends hovered above us like a black cloud and smothered us.

I still couldn’t believe that Xander and Willow were dead. So were many other residents of Sunnydale. I kept thanking all the possible deities that my mother wasn’t on this long black list.

I felt a rush of relief when Giles opened his eyes and looked at me like I was a miracle or something. He gave me the tightest hug and burst into tears on my shoulder. We cried and held each other until we arrived to his apartment. The poor guy was exhausted and I helped him get to bed, and Faith and Angel were downstairs, waiting for me to do or say something- anything, but I couldn’t find or form words. I couldn’t really understand anything at that moment, I just wanted to be alone.

Besides, being around the two of them was beyond confusing. Angel wasn’t a big talker, but he understood me perfectly well. “God, Buffy, I’ve looked everywhere for you. I’m so relieved now that you’re back.”

He pulled me into a tight hug and we just stood there, holding each other, for I don’t know for how long.

Faith left without saying even a word. I guess that seeing me in Angel’s embrace hurt her. A part of me wanted to stop her, but I didn’t. I wasn’t sure how I felt about her leaving, I wanted her gone and with me at the same time. Conflicted and confused aren’t words strong enough to describe what I was feeling.

Angel also left to be able to reach L.A. before sunrise, and once again I was all alone.

After being imprisoned for almost a year, I just wanted to be outside. I walked all over town, watched people that wandered all over, mourning and probably trying to make sense of things. I found myself on the Kingsman’s Bluff, where Angel had tried to kill himself. The view from it was amazing. I could see all of Sunnydale.

I could almost hear it gasping for air, trying to get a lungful after being smothered by evil forces. I sympathized with that town. It didn’t ask to be seated on top of a Hellmouth, just like I didn’t ask to be Chosen to protect it.

For a moment, I just wanted to be a normal girl, I wanted to travel, to spend time with my mom without worrying about the fate of the world.

It hit me that my fantasy could even come true, I wasn’t the only Slayer anymore. Faith was here and she deserved a chance to do amends and to shine. I deserved a nice holiday in the land of not coping. My best friends were dead, I needed time to heal. My friends were dead. The harsh reality punched me in the face and I gasped. I struggled with catching a proper breath and sat on the ground, holding my chest.

I started crying and once I started, I couldn’t stop. I cried until exhaustion knocked me out just when the sun was about to come and play.

**Faith**

I didn’t want to hear B say that she needed time and space and wanted me to go back to Boston, so I just took off, without saying a word. I hardly even looked at her, I didn’t wanna cry. Besides, seeing her in Angel’s arms hurt so bad.

It was obvious from space that she was very sad, in a lot of pain, and I wanted to hold her and comfort her, but I wasn’t really good at that. Angel was good at that, though. Fucker.

Usually I was good at leaving, but this time it hurt.

Feeling lost and horribly lonely, and that means something cause loneliness and I were good friends, almost family, I roamed the streets of Sunnydale. Tears streamed down my cheeks, I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t remember the last time I cried, but this huge lump in my throat just wouldn’t go away and I needed to get rid of some tension.

All kinds of thoughts kept going through my head, anxiety crept into every pore of my body. I was worried about tomorrow, about starting over on my own, I didn’t know if I could do it and wasn’t sure if I would be able to deal with Ms. Summers’ hatred once she found out about everything… I worried I’d go down the same old self destructive path, and also that I’d never see B again if I left…

I blamed myself for Willow and Xander’s deaths and I was sure that B blamed me too. How could I expect forgiveness for keeping her prisoner which directly led to her friends dying?

I kept walking and imagining all the worst possible scenarios, and when I looked around my heart almost stopped. B was lying on the ground, and of course, my mind jumped to the worst conclusion straight away. I ran to her and checked if she was breathing. Thankfully, she was. A stone fell off of my heart. Tears on her face hadn’t even dried yet, and I gently wiped them away with my thumb.

I couldn’t believe she just fell asleep right there on the ground and I couldn’t believe I found her just like that. I’d never even been to this place before. It was like she pulled me here somehow. I chose to see it as a sign, so I gently kissed her lips. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at me, surprised.

“Faith?”, she whispered and looked around.

“Yeah. I was just walking and somehow ended up here. Are you ok?” That question seemed stupid to me, of course she wasn’t ok, but I asked it anyway and ran my fingers through her hair.

“Faith… don’t take it the wrong way, but I need some alone time. I think I’ll go away with my mom for a while. You should stay in Sunnydale and actually be THE Slayer for a while.”

“B, I don’t think I can…”

“Of course you can. You’re a Slayer. Come on, let’s go home.”

“You mean, I can stay…?”

“Yes, you can sleep in my room. I’ll take mom’s room.”

I was mighty disappointed when she said that, but didn’t think I had the right to complain.

“Yeah, sure, B.”, I said shortly and she nodded and walked away. First few steps she made were all determined, but soon her shoulders slumped, like she couldn’t stand the weight that was placed on them. I lit a cigarette and followed her, but kept safe distance. Even at the distance I could still hear silent sobs that kept escaping her…


	11. Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy considers Faith her friend... Faith hopes for something more.

_AN/ I've just posted two chapters cause I've been busy for the last few weeks and thought it'd be a good apology for lateness. There's only one chapter left and I'll post it on Saturday. In the meantime, read and let me know what you think :) Thank you for sticking with this crazy story, I can imagine parts of it were like 'whaat the hell'... Sorry! It was just something I had to try out. A little darkness for this stupidly dark year. Occasionally I'm callous and strange, as Willow once said :)_

With Buffy and her mom gone, I was the Slayer. And I bought myself a cozy little apartment not to be a burden to Ms. Summers, who now knew the whole truth and I could tell that she thought that her daughter deserved better than me.

She didn’t yell at me or kick me out, she just said “I hope you never feel the pain you caused me, Faith.”, which made me swallow hard, those words cut deep into my heart.

Now that I was the Slayer in charge, I vowed that I would work hard and make everyone feel proud, not scared or wary of me.

I formed my own little Scooby Gang with Tara, Veruca and Riley. For the first time in my life, I had actual friends. Oz decided to leave Sunnydale and start over, his memories of Willow haunted him. Couldn’t blame him. I knew what it was like to feel haunted, but this time I didn’t want to run. I wanted to stay and fight- for the world and for Buffy’s love.

I just couldn’t wait for her to come back so I could try to win her love the right way.

I must have wandered away cause Veruca hit my upper arm and said “Hey, Earth to Faith!”

“Huh?”, I asked and looked at her like I was seeing her for the first time.

“Wanna go to the Bronze later?”

“Oh! Yeah, sure, but I have to patrol first.”, I absentmindedly ran my fingers through Harley’s hair, she was asleep on my lap.

“We c-can join you and h-help out.”, I noticed that Tara stuttered way less now than just a short while ago. I guess having a girlfriend and actual friends was good for her confidence. It was helping me too; I was much happier now that I wasn’t alone against the world. Ok, I didn’t have a girlfriend, but hopefully that was gonna change.

I was happy cause they all wanted to help me, it meant the world to me. I was gonna accept her offer, but then I thought about Willow and Xander… I didn’t want more lives on my conscience.

“No, it’s ok. You guys enjoy yourselves and save me a seat.”

I could see disappointment on their faces, they wanted to feel useful, but I just wanted them to stay alive.

“Faith, we wanna help. We can take care of ourselves, you know. Our lives aren’t your responsibility.”, Riley said, strangely he was able to read me pretty well.

“Of course they are, Rye. The only person I’ll allow to patrol with me is B.”

“I’m flattered.”

I jumped off of the couch, surprised to hear Buffy’s voice behind me.

“B?”

“The door was open.”, Buffy said, shifting awkwardly in place.

“How did you know… uh, come in.”, I said and lamely motioned with my hand.

“Giles told me. Hi, guys.”

They all said hi and excused themselves, they knew I would prefer to talk to Buffy alone.

“Didn’t think you’d be back so soon.”, I said and sat on the sofa. Buffy chose a comfy armchair opposite of me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, she looked so beautiful in a black shirt and jeans. She was a bit pale, though, there were dark circles around her eyes that she tried to hide with a bit of make-up… Her eyes were so sad I had to look away.

“My mom needed to reopen the gallery. She could only afford a week off since the business had been pretty much nonexistent with vampires all over the place.”

“Did you have a nice time in Illinois?”, I asked, trying to make small talk so Buffy wouldn’t see how nervous I actually was. And I wanted her to talk about herself, she just looked so haunted.

“It was ok. I like Aunt Arlene and I got along with Betty, her daughter who is two years younger than me. There are vampires in Illinois too, so I got some quality kills. Nice place, by the way.”, Buffy said, looking around, trying to seem relaxed. I could see that she kept pulling the hems of her black shirt over her fingers.

“Ta.”, I said shortly, I wasn’t used to getting compliments about my place and things. I could finally afford a comfortable life and I really wished that Buffy would be a part of it.

There were many more things that I wanted to say and ask, but I went for the least confusing option: “Patrol?”

It was well known that slaying had certain effects on Slayers. I wanted it to kick in as soon as possible. Just seeing Buffy made me wanna fuck her senseless.

“Yeah.”

After walking in silence after what seemed like forever, I stopped at the entrance to the Shady Hill Cemetery and asked “So, how come you decided to pay me a visit as soon as you got back?”

“You’re the only friend I have left.”, Buffy said and looked down, the heartbreak of losing Willow and Xander was so painful and raw. I didn’t think she’d ever recover from that trauma.

“B… Fuck, I’m not good at comforting people, but… I think you need a hug.”

Feeling awkward, I opened my arms and waited for Buffy to hug me back. I wasn’t a hugger, really, but I actually sighed when I felt Buffy’s arms wrap around me. Being so close to her felt so good and horrible at the same time, I wanted to kiss her so bad, but thought it might be too soon to make a move.

It was strange for Buffy too, she still felt so connected to Faith and she’d thought about her so much during her week in Illinois, but she didn’t think them dating was such a good idea yet, if ever. She just needed a friend at that moment. She felt goosebumps when Faith’s fingers accidentally touched the skin on her lower back when her shirt got pulled up and she slowly pulled away from the hug.

“Buffy… I… I can be just a friend to you, you know. I’ll understand if you never want anything else from me. I do love you, though. So much.”, I swallowed hard, I’d told her that before and Buffy hadn’t returned the words, which had hurt like a motherfucker.

“Thank you.”, Buffy gave me a tiny smile and carried on walking. After a moment she stopped and turned toward me again. She looked a bit sad when she said “I love you too. I just don’t trust you.”

Hearing Buffy say she loved me stumped me bad and I couldn’t move from the spot. Buffy had long entered the cemetery when I finally caught up with her.

I was hoping to continue our conversation, and maybe to cuddle her a bit more, but she was already fighting a couple of vamps. She was so beautiful while fighting and all I could do was stare at her for a moment. Lust for the kill was almost as bad as Buffy lust so I jumped into the fight and helped her slay two vampires.

When they were dust, our palms connected in a high five and we actually entwined our fingers for a moment, but then she pulled away.

“I’m meeting friends at the Bronze. Wanna come with?”, I asked. It was so weird that now it was me who had friends I was the only one B had. How the tables have turned. I didn’t want her to feel like an outcast in my circle of friends, though, I remembered well how sucky that had felt.

“No, I… I can’t. Xander and Willow and I hung there all the time. It’s too fresh. I gotta go.”

She ran away and I cursed myself for being such an idiot. She’d just lost her best friends, of course she wasn’t in the mood to dance with me. But, she didn’t punch me in the face and she actually told me she loved me, so that was something… A little smile danced on my lips as I walked toward the Bronze. Maybe there was still hope…


	12. Saved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end is the new beginning

I had all this money and no idea what to do with it. I was used to simple life. Having a nice apartment was cool, and some cash not to worry about my future, but millions for a girl like me... I didn't need it all, I just wanted Buffy. A moment of inspiration hit me and I thought of going to Red to ask her help with the computer, but then I remembered...

So instead, I headed to the bank and asked to transfer two million dollars to Ms. Summers' account. I knew it couldn't excuse the kidnapping of her only child, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want her to hate me. I just didn't think she'd show up at my door that same day.

“Ms. Summers.”, I said, surprised off of my head when I saw her standing there.

“Faith… I don’t want your money. Take it back, please.”

“I won’t take it back. Give it to charity if you don’t want it. I just wanted to… I know it sounds lame, but I am sorry. You were always nice to me and I…” Tears flooded my eyes and I headed to the living room to pour us both drinks.

“Buffy seems to have forgiven you, so I suppose I can try to do the same. I don’t want your money, though. I want you to bring my daughter back from this darkness she seems to be stuck in. She hardly eats and doesn’t want to go to college… The only thing she seems to care about is slaying and every morning she returns with sets of new bruises. Even Mr. Giles can’t get through to her, she apparently keeps refusing to let him act as her Watcher. We think she’s afraid that he might become a vampire again. She can’t do this alone, Faith. Help her, please.”

“I’ll do my best, Ms. Summers. But, you can also help her with this money. Maybe take her to a shrink or holidays, just the two of you… Come on, please, don’t be stubborn about this. I’m trying to make up and be a better person. And B… I’ve never loved anyone this way and I hurt her the most.”

I actually started crying and was surprised when Ms. Summers put her arm around me and said “You always hurt the ones you love.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”, I whispered. She took a sip of her drink and left. I wanted to see B so badly, but I also wanted her to come to me. I didn’t wanna hover, she needed space. Also, I had a bunch of homework to do. I’d enrolled in the newly opened school to finally get my High School degree. Being rich didn’t mean I could go through life without knowing basic things.

I hadn’t seen B for over a week and I missed her so much. I tried calling her house before heading to patrol that night, but Ms. Summers said that she’d already left. I headed to Restfield Cemetery and smiled when I heard sounds of battle. She was fighting hard, but when I saw she was alone against ten vampires I wanted to kick her for being so reckless. Still, I spent a moment just checking her out. Her white tank top accentuated her breasts, which were small but gorgeous, and black tights hugged her ass just perfectly. I bit my lip and watched her fight.

Her stake connected to chests of two vampires who exploded into dust and I smiled, but then the smile froze on my face.

She screamed and sounded so anguished and suddenly she just dropped her stake and I stared in horror as she surrendered… I couldn’t get to her in time to stop a vampire from biting into her neck… I wanted to scream, but no sounds were coming out. The good thing was that vampires were too exhilarated by these events and I managed to dust three.

Two against five was better than ten.

“BUFFY!”, I screamed and she looked at me, a little dazed. I staked the vamp that was draining her and she dropped to the ground. I was so angry and worried so I used all the emotions to keep fighting. It was five against one because B wasn’t any help, sitting there and holding her neck. She kept looking at blood that coated her fingers and she licked them slowly. It threw me and a vampire managed to kick me hard enough to land on my ass. I fell next to her and yelled “GET A GRIP, B! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

I pulled her up and after a moment she started fighting again. Relief flooded me as I watched her slay two vampires angrily. I finished the remaining three and dropped my stake.

“Ok, what was this about, B? Feeling suicidal?”, I asked her, trying not to yell, but there was a note of hysteria in my voice.

“You’re the Slayer now, the world doesn’t need me anymore.”, she shrugged and also dropped her stake. She looked so defeated…

“Your mom and Giles need you… I NEED YOU!”, I yelled the last three words and gripped her shoulders and shook her violently to make her snap out of it.

Oh she snapped out of it. Her right hook connected to my face and I tasted blood in my mouth. She started punching and kicking me with all her power and I couldn’t find it in me to fight back.

“FIGHT BACK!”, she yelled when she kicked me so hard I flew against one of the smaller graves and actually smashed the wooden cross with my body.

“No, B, wait! I deserve your anger, I do… but you don’t deserve to die, or to become me. Please, be strong. You are better than this!”, I yelled when she pulled my shirt and lifted me up to face her standing up. I tried to touch her cheek, but she gripped my wrist and squeezed hard. I hissed in pain and she punched me again. Tears were streaming down her face, I don’t think she could even see me properly so I started blocking her punches and kicks… I never hit her back, not once… I just kept talking to her through sobs and hisses.

“Come on, B… let it out and then we can go for a beer. You need this anger, it’s better than feeling nothing at all.”, I goaded her and she cursed loudly and ran off. Rain started sipping slowly and I needed a few minutes to make myself run after her. I was slow, breathing was a bit of a problem after getting my ass handed to me…

By the time I will have caught up with her, rain was pouring down like thrown from a hundred buckets at once. She was leaning on Willow’s gravestone and letting rain hit her hard. I could hear her sobs, though, they were breaking my heart.

I approached her and slowly wrapped my arms around her from behind. I was careful, expecting her to lash out and punch me again, but she didn’t move. I could just feel her tremble and shake with sobs…

“B… it’s ok now, shhh…”, I whispered and turned to look at me. She flinched when she saw my bruised face. I could feel it swelling, but I didn’t care, Slayers healed fast. By the day after tomorrow, the bruises will have been a thing of the past. I didn’t want B to be a thing of the past, though.

“It’s five by five, B, don’t worry about it. You’ll make it through, you always do. I’m here if you need me, but don’t expect me to fight you or help you hurt yourself. I’m not gonna heal your emotional pain with physical pain.”, I said and had my resolve face on.

“Why the hell not?! YOU OWE ME AT LEAST THAT!”

“You’ve been doing a good job by yourself.”, I whispered when I looked at her bloody neck and saw bruises on her arms and forehead. “Come on, B… let’s go to my place, you can shower and eat and sleep. I don’t wanna let you out of my sight right now.”

“Oh no, no. I’ve spent enough time in your apartment, thank you.”, she said and shot me with a killer glare.

“I thought we were friends now. Friends look after each other. Let me look after you for once.”

“I don’t need to be looked after. I’m five by five. See you around.”

I expected her to punch me again, her fists were clutched, but she just walked away. I sighed, unable to decide what to do. I just wanted to make sure she wouldn’t find another nest of vamps and let them finish what had been started.

Walking slowly, I followed her. I was actually freezing cold, my clothes were soaked through and the rain wasn’t subsiding. My teeth chattered, but I steeled myself and walked into The Bronze after her. Her bloody and bruised body attracted attention, she was soon surrounded by people asking if she was ok and offering her jackets, drinks and rides home or to the police station.

I ordered a big cup of tea with brandy inside to warm up a little and watched her down tequila, shot after shot. She put on one hunk’s old Sunnydale football team’s jacket and I guess he thought that meant she liked him the most, so he placed his arm around her waist and whispered something in her ear. It must have been something she didn’t like and the next moment he was lying on the floor with his jacket on his head.

I smirked, feeling proud. B was no one’s property. There was a little smirk on her face too and then she walked to the dancefloor and pulled a girl to dance with her. My mind jumped to our sexy dance, it felt like it had happened a million years ago… and I got jealous when I saw her grind against the girl, who looked a bit like… well… me.

I didn’t know how I felt about that. Jealous, of course, but also very confused. Their lips connected in a desperate kiss and I felt like she punched and stabbed me in the belly again. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I just wanted to go grab her and kiss her like that. I couldn’t.

When she broke the kiss, she looked at me with those green eyes full of pain that pierced me right through the heart. If I was a vampire, I would be dust now.

It was like she was trying to tempt me into making a scene, and I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. I was angry, but god I was hurt more than anything. I shrugged at her, letting her know if was up to her whom she wanted to kiss, and I walked away.

I felt as if my whole body was made of steel, I could barely drag it to my apartment. I stripped out of soaked clothes as soon as I entered it and just fell onto the bed. My body hurt all over, but my heart ached way worse. I tried to sleep, but couldn’t. Couldn’t get her out of my head. I imagined her having sex with this me look alike and I cringed. Why would she do something like that?

I tired myself out with all kinds of horrible thoughts and managed to fall asleep. Of course, she wouldn’t leave me alone in my dreams either.

The next day I went to school exhausted, couldn’t focus on anything and I was grateful when my new friends joined me for lunch in the school yard. They all brought snacks and we sat on a blanket. I was holding a Starbucks coffee in my hand like it was a sacred chalice or something. I needed coffee more than ever.

“Holy shit, Faith, did a truck hit you?”, Veruca asked, she wasn’t a very subtle person. I was still a walking bruise despite my Slayer healing. And lack of sleep drew black circles under my eyes. I thought maybe I should have skipped school that day, but I needed something to keep me busy. I told my teachers that I’d been in a car accident, but couldn’t lie to my friends.

“No, B did.”

“Damn. I thought you guys were friends now.”, Rye commented, a confused look on his face.

“We’ve always been special.”, I muttered. I couldn’t help thinking that if I’d just let her go after finding her in my apartment that maybe she would have actually forgiven me everything and loved me for real. I just… I’d been messed up, I hadn’t been able to show her love and desire the normal way. I’d forced her to be something she wasn’t and now she was something she never would have turned into if I hadn’t pushed her too far. Well done, Faith. You always manage to ruin everything, one way or another.

“She’s got a very s-special bruise on her f-forehead too”, Tara commented and nodded toward the school steps. Buffy had graduated, why was she sitting there? I was hoping she’d come to see me, but again, I was being foolish. Her Bronze babe approached her and kissed her in front of the whole school.

“Ooh…”, Veruca’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. I clutched my fists, forgetting I was holding a carton coffee cup, which got crumpled and coffee spilt all over me.

“Why can’t you two ever just sit and talk like normal people?”, Riley asked, bless him. He was a Psych Major and thought everything could be dealt with nice conversations.

I shrugged and bit into an apple. I had to move on. She had. After ten minutes of trying not to watch her kiss that girl, I took my stuff and headed back into school. I wasn’t gonna stop to say hi, I kinda pointedly ignored her and the new squeeze, but she ran over to me, grabbed my arm and whispered

“Faith… I’m sorry about last night. I’m sorry I hurt you this bad.”, she moved her hand to touch my face, but I moved out of her reach.

“It’s five by five.”, I said and glanced at her girl, but didn’t comment on their togetherness.

“No, it’s not. You saved me, in a few ways. I am not a quitter, I fight back. And I like to love even if my history isn’t all that stellar. I just… I need something different. Something light.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve been making out with her for a few weeks now. I wanted to tell you, but didn’t know how. I was just… hurt. It doesn’t excuse my behavior.”

“I understand. A little too well, even.”, I said and almost flinched when this girl of hers approached us and said “Hey, Faith. I’m in your Chem class.”

“Oh. Right. I kept thinking you looked familiar.”, I managed to say without ripping her head off, which made me proud of myself. I’ve grown.

“I’m Kennedy.”, the girl smiled and extended her hand. I shook it shortly and then she kissed Buffy once again “See ya at the Bronze after class?”

B smiled at her “Yeah, it’s a date.”

Oh god. I never felt pain like that in my chest. I thought I’d get a heart attack when they kissed once again. Kennedy headed to class and I looked at Buffy, who was walking away, that bounce back in her step, her hair jumping over her back and shoulders like in those shampoo commercials.

She was perfect. And she was alive. That was what mattered to me at that moment. She’d never been mine anyway. She’d been my caged bird. And caged birds don’t sing.


End file.
